Friendship on a click

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3 years ago

Everyone who enjoyed the world-famous TV series "Friends" dealt with the topic of friendship in a witty way, hopes for its continuation is often speculated. The actors, led by Jennifer Aniston, don't want to spoil the brilliant impression that the series once left on millions of viewers, so there will be no new episodes. "Friends" became a planetary hit a long time ago, long before virtual friendship on social networks entered the lives of their loyal fans. However, can watching a TV series or socializing on social network replace personal "live" friendship that every human being should experience in real life?

Let's be friends

As Freddie Mercury says in the song "Friends will be friends right to the ends" (again relevant due to the success of the movie about the group "Queen"), the value of true friendship lies in perseverance, until the end, the end in any sense, in a friendly, zealous support - no matter what happened. Lover, parents, relatives, mentors, bosses, spouses and business partners - they can all let us down under certain circumstances, even very easily, but we expect friends to be with us util very end, whether it is the end of our love, depression, diseases - and even life. Until the end. "Until death do us part"- would be more appropriate as a sentence of true friendships than as a youth oath made at a wedding.

Because, today, we have witnessed the excessive violation of that marriage oath, because divorces and enmities, as well as intolerance after marital misunderstandings - are more numerous than marriages. So, while there is nothing in marriage that would guarantee "eternal loyalty" in friendship it is taken for granted. Because, really-true friendships bridge every misunderstanding, the deepest gap, the hardest fall, whether moral, financial or emotional. And that's why friend are so precious.

Soul mates

That friendship is something magical and priceless - that's clear, but people are generally more eager to find an emotional partner, a "soul mate", so it is far more talked about than the importance of finding a true friend. And it is precisely friendship that is the meeting of two kindred spirits (at least in some segment of the kindred) - the one who will not condemn us for weaknesses and clumsiness, or leave us after kissing. Acceptance of a person as he is - that is the key formula of intimacy - so those secrets, doubts and fears that can't be shared with any other being can be shared with a friend. And the feeling of closeness is really healing, it makes a person not feel hopelessly lonely on the planet Earth.

Yet today, friendships are confusing!

We are witnessing the phenomenon of how they are easily assembled on social networks - virtually. But, unlike real life, here friendship is separated from indifference and forgetfulness by just one silence mouse click, that is, as much as we have entered into friendly relations with someone, we can break those relations, without any significant shocks and consequences for ourselves. This doesn't mean that a "deleted" friends feels comfortable because of surprised break-up - but it doesn't to excite a modern individual who will very easily gain new, as yet unexplored "friends" on Facebook or Twitter - or any other social network they multiply day by day.

See you on Facebook

Due to expansion of social networks, the habits in the communication of a modern individual are changing - for example, someone is more likely to tell you "find me on Facebook" than to give you their phone number. And really, it's easier. Virtual friendship successfully complete with real friendship in real life. It is often more important for people to check what is happening on social networks than to have breakfast and coffee with friends and family. So, it isn't easy for the natives - their real being is completing with the presence of a whole spectrum of different people "declared as friends" in a fictional world that may be completely fake, created only to provoke sighs and provocation, washed with Photoshop in every segment - but no matter what those doubts - irresistibly attractive.

It is somewhat understandable - because we know the family, and we have a lot to discover about friends on social networks: we can follow them in the footsteps of a city event, or on summer, winter, mini-weekend, intimate anniversary celebrations, prom nights or in unpredictable actions. Even when they aren't at the center of an exciting event, their posts reveal their habits, attitudes, desires, thoughts...

The voyeuristic urge to say something new about others, urges the modern individual not to drop his mobile device and to try to be online at every opportunity so as not to miss the spicy details of a discussion or provocative post on the social network to which he is loyal.

Unpleasant discoveries

People are aware that their friends are not saints or sinless persons, that every person has several aspects of personality and the way he manifest them, that these friends may be good and self-sacrificing as friends, but unresponsive or rude as spouses, sons or daughters to their parents.

In real life, most people try to revitalize unwanted traits or behaviors of friends, but if they encounter these same characteristics constantly on their portal - a sudden blow of astonishment and shame due to inappropriate posts lead to serious consequences for the friendship itself. On this occasion, an American blogger, shared her experience of dissatisfaction with her friend, who, according to her, presented himself inadequately on the social network where she could follow him. Namely, he like s to drink. When that happens in real life, she simply avoids his company: on the network where he is friend with her, she was constantly confronted with the nonsense he published under the influence of alcohol, and suddenly it bothered her so much that she wanted to end the friendship! Both virtual and real!

Also, it is not pleasant to face the boasting of your friends - whether it is designing your own home or cooking tempting lunches. Intrusive self-promotion, along with false modesty, often provokes repulsion. Inappropriate behavior or selfies in vulgar poses, scanty clothing - all this can lead to the severance of friendly ties that have been maintained for years in real life - but with which the virtual world "came to its end" in a very unexpected way.

Lead image and literature: Lily magazine, number 38, fall 2019

Other images: Wikimedia Commons

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Comments

Real friendships are from school days.

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3 years ago

And from kindergarten, elementary and high school! You are right! They are always special and always want to be friends till the end.

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3 years ago

Yes, life experience has proven it to me. I may not see them for long but they are always there.

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3 years ago

We'll need to be surrounded with them. May they live forever and we with them...

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3 years ago