Jitters and blah

I went early to town this morning for grocery shopping and passed by other houses first before finally arriving at the jeepney stop.

I smelled the laundry of residents and I had a quick memory of times past. Whatever time that was, I couldn't remember anymore. Just the nostalgia was felt.

Probably sometime before during my college days.

I walked on and was finally inside the jeepney. I realized I was riding with students who were bound to school for face-to-face classes.

Here, we already have limited face-to-face classes. And many students and pupils opted for it. Others still liked the online set up so not that many students were out of their houses.

It was involuntary but I suddenly felt the jitters and blah. I remember my time as a student. A lot of other emotions would go along with you from the time you wake up in the morning until you go home after classes.

The feeling before when going to school was somehow indescribable. I was nervous for some reason. At the same time anxious.

If I wake up late and have no time to fix myself, there would always be that worry about how I look. Also, I was quite shy in school. Say, introverted.

I was always afraid of recitations and I hated essays and non-Math subjects. I don't really hate them but I was too lazy to comply with activities.

But I recited anyway, crafted my essays anyway, and danced and sang anyway. I should have just enjoyed those days. How foolish of me.

I was so occupied by my thoughts when the jeepney halted. Ah, we're in the town already. I went to the grocery, feeling glad I was a student no more.

The next school year is fast approaching but I am feeling anxious and not excited. I am starting to realize that this current occupation of mine may not be really for the likes of me.

Still, I have to exert effort to enjoy this profession and just trust in Him.

At this point, I am not in the position to be choosy. Practically speaking, I can't leave my job yet.

I am confused about what to do next so I will not rush things and think it over a million times before doing anything.

Meanwhile, I will enjoy the learning setup while it is still online.

I have mixed feelings about things but I will do what I can to make experiences meaningful.