Today my child turned eighteen. In between homeschooling (following online classe) we sort of celebrated and arranged some things that adulthood brings with it. For the elderly siblings, their 18th birthday included the first driving lesson. Since times have changed this child of mine already has the license.
Times change, it changes fast and frequently we are not aware of it. At the time I turned eighteen I wasn't an adult yet. Not officially. You had to be twenty-one. Twentyone to be on your own, to vote, to do your finances. At the age of eighteen, you could start with your driver's lessons and at that time children at work wasn't done. A lot of what I was taught is today labelled as wrong.
At the time I visited school language, grammar was important and children had to learn idioms by head. Long lists of expressions and sayings and you know what? We all knew them. It is hard to tell if I hated to learn them but for sure all those phrases and sayings make a language more alive, it does add that bit extra. I can honestly say it benefitted me.
I find it kind of sad my children hardly know any idioms. At times we discuss them. Which profession caused most idioms for example. We think the sailors and farmers did. I notice I use them a lot and hope my children will too.
They say children copy their parents but to be honest, there are many things I do which my children simply don't like or will never do. It looks as if I am not a great example or I do not impress them enough.
Reading for example. I spent every free minute with a book. I could completely lose myself in a good story. My children grew up between books and the stories I told them are countless but out of five, only two are book fanatics (own library included).
Photography.
At the age of eight years old I had my first photo camera. Later a collection of cameras. From the moment my children were born they were confronted with photo cameras, my models. I took photos of everything. Not only of them but nature, our pets, the walks outside and vacations too. Alltogether good for thousands of slides, slides and photos. Do my children share the same interest? Not really.
Music.
Indeed they do listen to the '80s (or earlier). Good for me since if it comes to music I am not such a modern girl. It's clear they are somehow stuck in time, a time that is less noisy, not so chaotic. They like vintage and are antique lovers, go for the old stuff but two out of five are techno lovers. Kind of weird if you consider one was raised with classical music only. Mozart, Bach, Beethoven... The implant was clearly not impressive enough. It only lasted for a few years.
Travelling.
I always loved it. If the wind blows I feel restless and my children? They don't care about going out. They did because I told them, because I dragged them around the world. They don't feel any need to go out for fun. There should be a good reason for it. Home is good enough and their room is the best place to be.
Creativity.
Creative they are and I hope that will never change. Dadly enough they will never find the job they like. No matter how good they are. If it comes to their education it turns out to be useless. Frequently I wonder why we went through all the trouble of paying for professional educations. It didn't bring them anything or anywhere. It was their own interest and the small jobs they did that triggered new interests and likes, opened doors. It was coincidence, an advertisement in the paper, the need for money (every job is fine) contacts with others. They had to be older, do and see more of the world to discover their likes, to see what is possible. Schools do not prepare for life. It is what parents and life itself do. It is not different from what happened to me. One experience leads to the next.
Times changed and time will keep changing. I never felt the need to follow in my parents' footsteps and I do not expect my children to follow in mine. To be honest I never thought about it and will never understand why some parents start a fight about it. My children are good the way they are. The older they get the more I see the individual. My children, they are not little copies of me. My only hope is they can take care of themselves and I am glad if they can do what they like most.
Happy Birthday to your child. I really love your writings and admire you as a parent. I hope parents most especially here in Asia, have that mindset of yours.