I wonder how many parents make thoughts about cute babies turning into stubborn, smelling teenagers covered with pimples. We meet those kids outside on the street. They are not very attractive, at times annoying and rude. The good news is that annoying kid isn't ours, it won't happen to us, not to our child. We are the parent who will raise it in the right way. Our kid will not end up living on the street, be an alcoholic, drug addict, a whore (men included), rapist, thief, scammer or end up with a knife in his/her back while delivering the newspaper at 5 am.
How can we be sure we do a great job while raising our child(ren)? Can we be sure at all? If I see the high amount of children growing up with foster parents, teenagers living on the street, at the orphan- and foster homes, altogether we parents, adults, do a terrible job.
Frequently I hear people complain about the "present youth" but they forget what they see is the product of: raising x character x society. If you accept certain behavior you reward it which means it will continue. I agree, totally agree, it's hard to raise a child these days but it doesn't mean it's impossible and you should set it free to do as it likes. It's not what I do with my children.
Society is the main reason why the youth (and their parents) are raised without boundaries, norms, values. We live in a society where clear answers are not given, and "we" should talk endlessly about the good, bad, the results of deeds, and children only need to promise not to do it again.
What we forget is children are children and not each child is capable to understand what you say plus children lie and cheat. Children are not innocent. What we overlook too is children, just like adults, need to know how far they can go, they need to have clear rules to live by. Life is not about fun, partying only.
Ignoring the facts because "they are just teenagers", telling yourself badly, extreme behavior is normal because of hormonal change, or "all kids go through such a period" in their lives is fooling yourself. If you, as a parent, say this it's an excuse for not raising your child(ren) and it says a lot about you.
I am not saying a child needs to be a model citizen but it does need to understand a society only functions with rules. Within these rules is plenty of room left for own ideas, plans, adventure, development, creativity, or whatever a teenager looks for. If you have children it's your task, your responsibility, to raise them well. If you start raising from the day they are born you might notice all those small excuses are based on nothing. Puberty is not the period that makes children misbehave. A lack of rules, not being close, keeping a close eye on your child, and holding it responsible for own deeds are reasons why a child loses track.
The community Parenting is for parents who share their own experiences if it comes to parenting.
I wonder if this is what my mother considered as she was raising us