I don't have many friends plus I am an introvert. It sounds as if I am the lucky one these days. With these days I mean the pandemic of 2020 (you wonder too why Covid-19 is named after 2019 and not 2020 if it all started this year around March?) and the lockdowns. The lockdowns, intelligent lockdowns, the keeping distance, new normal, no touching, kissing, wear a facemask while you have sex, and other rules, suggestions, advice people called experts think out. It feels like a joke to me. A big joke.
For sure not each one of us is sure about this lung virus. It's a fact we all do not die from it even if we are tested positive. Only 1,8% of the elderly are infected, 2,4% of the toddlers. Should I be scared to death because I will be the next? Forget about it. My life so far was scary enough and not one filled with fun. It was one filled with cruelty, molest, discrimination, humiliation. Should I feel pity for all those 'party animals' now of a sudden? Those bullies, smokers, drinkers and selfish people who never cared about me and backstabbed me each time after they abused and robbed me?
The first person who feels or ever felt pity for me I met years ago. Not a family member which explains a lot. To be honest this is the only, not related, person in my life I care about. It's someone who can hardly write. I think it's sweet. Most likely a person you would avoid or give the death penalty if you knew all the dark sides, the real person. I think this is a string character, a personality and one has to do what has to be done to stay alive.
You might find me judgemental or cruel but if it comes to it I am not. I am a realist and next to that I hardly care about people but I care about this friend, which means I am not. I am even proud to be befriended because it's no lunatic or someone suffering from self pity but a self made person. How many can say that? No pandemic can avoid the contact we have. Let's be straight we have the luxury airmail is no longer needed. There's no neec to wait 6-7 weeks for an answer. We can stay in touch by email if we like. There's no suffering because we can't meet or greet in person, no way to give a hug. It wasn't possible before this pandemic either plus if it comes to hugging, if I like to do so I do it. No one can stop me, neither force me.
My body is mine and no one else's. I do whit it what I like. No need for you reader to worry about infections, not one single part of this broken soul will be given for donation. I am not that generous or is it hateful, to share my illnesses and bad experiences with someone else. Someone who seems to have what I lack 'the will to live, to get old'. You are better off with a pig anyway. They turn out to be great animals to hug and relax people who do so and great donors especially if it comes to the heart. Who ever thought about that? A pig's heart to safe a human's life. A human who never cared about saving a pig in his entire life.
If you feel bad, miserable, make yourself believe you are depressed because of a lack of contact, the lockdown, have a closer look at yourself. Is it possible you are one of those bored, spoiled people? What would your life look like if you wouldn't have access to the internet, if you are elderly, unattractive and live alone? If no one cares about you, provides in your food, needs, gives you a hand? If your school days are close to a horror because you are bullied or ignored? If you have no friends only fears? People treat you like a freak or worse... foreigner?
If there's not much left or seemed to be left, focus on all those possibilities, luxuries you have. Most of you were never a great student anyway and looked down on those who did study. You are not suffering but have all the time in the world you ever wanted, wished for. Time to sleep, do nothing, eat, gain weight, time for selfies and gossips. Shouldn't your life be improved?
Finally you have what you want. We all have. Me-time and time to build, work on all those relationships we neglected for so many years. Time for a good discussion, to start a business of our own.
Quality time I invested in a few people my entire life and that's why my life didn't change. I was born in a world without luxuries. A world where people worked hard. The only way to stay in touch was by letters, telegram in cases of need and by traveling. We paid people a visit. Even today I hardly make a phonecall nor watch tv. I am a writer and I write and I kept writing. It's my way to stay in touch with me and others. I don't need to meet friends and get drunk to have a good time. With friends you share quality time, your darkest thoughts and you know they are safe, you are safe.
Prompt: suffering
Egg timer 2x 10 minutes
Grammarly ran but messes up
#kittywu #freewrite #suffering #pandemic #keepdistance #lockdown
Awesome