Shocking?

'To the bone' is a film about anorexia (and partly bulimia) an eating disorder and I just finished watching it. If you have Netflix you can watch it too. On those rare occasions, I have a better connection I download all kind of films and series and watch them when I have nothing else to do or need a break.

It's hard to say if I advise you to watch this film. If you like some action or crime this isn't a film for you. To the bone is more about the "daily" life of Eli (Ellen) who refuses to eat and goes from one institution to the next which eats her family. Her stepmother has to deal with her while making excuses why her father is always absent. Eli's mother plus girlfriend are no longer able to deal with her.

It's obvious Eli doesn't have the greatest parents in the world but if it comes to that who does? Most of us do not end up as a "bag of bones". It's unclear what caused it but according to Eli it isn't because her mother had postnatal depression.

The question is if there's one reason that can cause this or if many small reasons drove her into a habit of not eating and fighting the hunger because hunger is what she feels. To fight it she draws... food. Her drawings were posted on social media and although some recognized the art to others it was a clear sign to act. Suicide was the result and those suicide photos were sent to Eli. She was shocked but not enough to wake up and fight for her life.

A big shock, a certain kind of wake up call is needed to fight for your life. Eli only loses more weight and leaves the 4th institution. She is weaker than ever before and goes back to her mother. Perhaps the walking up call is if her mother says it's okay if she wants to die and she will no longer fight is, perhaps the wake-up call is when she faints and "dreams" she is dead, hears what the all those she met said and she sees herself naked, bone and skins, dead.

Courage is a piece of coal you swallow, need to swallow... She tries and nearly chokes and somehow I recognize it. That piece of coal is too big to swallow I can tell you that. She tries and nearly chokes in it, coughs and wakes up. Let's hope she managed to swallow that piece of coal and dares to go on.

It's not about having enough courage only to live life, to go on. Self-esteem, self-motivation and support are needed too. It's true one needs to do it alone, really want to eat, live but it's a long fight and without help, there's a very small chance of making it. Addictions are for life. Once an addict always an addict and anorexia is no exception. It is a long road till that moment arrives cooking and eating is seen as okay, relaxing and might even be enjoyable.

#kittywu #tothebone #anorexia #life #netflix #courage #freewrite