I once had a cat named Lucifer and lucifer is how we call matches in Dutch too. The cat was black and a very kind one. Perhaps a bit dumb or slow. Still, it was a good soul who didn't fear anyone. How come he had a lack of fear no one knew but if you ask me it was because he wasn't too smart. Might be he never really had bad experiences in his life. He thought everyone was kind and if you believe that's true you put yourself in danger because you are not aware of the danger. If that happens it's good you are not too smart, better than being naive. In the first case, you might only wonder what happens to you (why you are killed and ripped into pieces) in the second case you might feel disappointment, disillusion, and fear.
My Lucifer was killed and it truly surprised him. I couldn't save his life but hold him till he died and I saw the look in his eyes. He wasn't the first cat who was killed. The brothers Simsek and Siyah were most likely killed too. One disappeared, the other one was shot at, came back, and felt feared but suffered from a broken heart as well.
Figaro was killed too. What exactly happened with this gently, smart but introvert cat no one knew. She came back home and could only walk in circles. I had to lock her in a small box to give her some peace of mind.
She always been fee, never bothered anyone, or forced herself upon everyone. If you have always been free and you are kicked into death it's better to set free and say goodbye. Each time when that happened a part of me died. Died of guilt about being bad for my pets, not being able to save them, give them the good, long life they deserve.
sorry to hear that..i have mine too ,one killed and one still alive they both male,you can explain hows the feeling of someone you love gone in front of you...i love kitty from now and then,