I never understood them. Those people who said it's not the right time to start with children.
Is it something for grandparents or people who envy you to say?
Each time I heard someone saying these words I thought "if it comes to it the time is never right".
Is there a right time? Humanity survived wars, revolutions, dictators, viruses, deals with bacteria, the environment, and diseases that run into the family, bad DNA. The economy at this moment is as bad as it was during the second world war. Poverty is increasing and so are the prices and the expectations. Is it a good time to have children?
If I want a child, are so lucky to get pregnant and bring it to a good end, I need money.
The midwife needs to be paid and she has a long list with all these things I need to buy. Stuff I need for me like towels, bandages, plastic to cover the floor, disinfectants, a thermometer...
I need to buy things for my baby. One diaper is not enough the list says 24 of these, 12 others... It's the same with the clothes, all those tiny things I need to buy in three different sizes at least 6 of everything. I need special washcloths for babies only, special soap, shampoo, and a baby bathtub and a plastic sink, two buckets with lid for the diapers, and bigger diapers for the crib and which can be used for a towel.
I do not want to waste my money on so many things I need according to the midwife. I know my baby will be small, the sink is fine too and what I wash today is dry tomorrow.
I have no intention to waste money on pampers because I will use cotton diapers. Diapers I wash, iron, and fold myself and which will fit my tiny baby perfectly well.
Is having a baby only for the rich these days?
It sounds to me you can make it as expensive as you like but does this make me a better parent? My baby sleeps with me and if I am busy it sleeps in the crib. I didn't buy a new mattress and yes, it can sleep on its belly just like I did. It will not choke or die. Sleeping on the belly feels warm, save plus it helps against upset intestines.
I do not see the need of buying six bottles plus all the extras including a bottle warmer. I will breastfeed and if I work again it's early enough to buy something I need so it gets my milk instead of the fake stuff made in a factory.
My baby doesn't care about fancy, new clothes. The only thing it needs is care and love.
I don't want to be forced to hire a nurse.
She doesn't care about my baby, doesn't observe it the way I do. She doesn't care if it's afraid of water and tries to break its limbs to force it into the bathtub. A strange-smelling woman all in white with an unfamiliar voice ignores the dislikes and the boundaries of a baby, my baby. There is nothing this woman can do. She will not cook and clean, not take care of the pets, there will be no visitors since I am a single mom and she will not shower me. I have to pay someone for sitting on my couch and adding nothing to my life. Although it isn't me for sure someone will need her.
I am not afraid to do anything wrong.
I know I am not a perfect parent. How can I be if I am not a perfect person? There will always be someone complaining about me, there will always someone saying I do something wrong. Times change and so do the ideas if it comes to parenting. In some countries, the old methods are introduced again. Customs which are suddenly modern again. What was preached for one or two generations is no longer a smart thing to do. Suddenly we all come to the point it's better to do it the old fashioned way. Mother Nature knows best. If I get pregnant it doesn't mean I am too young or too old but my body can handle it, is ready for it. If I deliver my baby at home it is a natural way to do. A baby's first experience in this world should not be a terrible light and the white of a hospital room, strange people, bacteria, and germs.
If I raise my child the way I like there will be fewer conflicts and my child will understand it's not all about the money.
Is it the right time to have a child?
It's the first time I believe it is not. After each war, there was hope, hope for a better time. My children will never have the freedom I have. My grandmother had more freedom than me. To be honest I hoped my children would have a better life, more freedom, the right to travel, freedom of speech, good healthcare, and the chance of a job. It's not the Coronavirus which took this hope away. This virus isn't new, neither are viruses, colds, or the annual flu. What is new is how governments abuse it to finally push all kinds of rules, laws, and restrictions upon us.
A nation of sick, mentally sick people is what will be left. People who will live like animals in a cage and gave up on the hope of a better life. Specialist already warned for the alarming amount of people who cannot deal with lockdown and restrictions for life. And this is the difference between "the old days" and the reason why I changed my mind. This is not what I want for my children. It's because I know better. I grew up in a world where I had the freedom to go where I like if I could afford it.
Take care of yourself, prepare yourself, make money before thinking of having a baby. Nice article