If your child turns 18

March 2021 one my children will be eighteen years old. Eighteen means adult. This wasn't the case as I was eighteen at that time twenty-one meant adult. How to prepare your child for acting like an adult, the fact it can sign, decide by it's own and has to take responsibility for it's own acts?
It sounds odd to me. The child still visits school and has no education finished, no profession and a long way to go. Who will pay for it?
It doesn't know how online banking works, a bank account costs money and money is what it doesn't have except for the amount I saved for it from the moment on I was pregnant.
A part of the money was used for driving lessons and by now it has the driver's license. The rest is meant to start a life of it's own. One day not now.

It's great if you are an adult, people, teachers, show a bit more respect and take your opinion more seriously but financially it's a disaster. Not only for the child but me as a parent too. The law (government) changed in the past 18-19 years and nothing is for free. The school tries to stimulate children this age to stay, finish their education but the government makes it hard to continue. Without a loan there is no way to study. It may be clear someone needs to pay for the school fee, the books, material needed (laptop, excel and all these expensive tools needed which school doesn't give. They find it quite normal we have it all, no matter what the teachers next idea is. The books are hardly used, the school's computers are very old but we need to have the brand new ones).

I keep thinking about how to save money. Saving money in the way we stop spending but I have no clue how. I do discuss this with my children because it involves each one of them. If I buy for one child or pay one school fee it means the rest has to wait. It's hard to tell how they feel about it. It is as it is and I hope if we all know how much income there is and what we need to pay it makes it easier to live with. Although we struggle and live in poverty we still managed and live a life without debts and loans which is rare these days. the ,

How to spend fewer? The fact is we already live at a minimum. We never go out, we do not smoke, drink, use make up, rarely buy clothes, shoes, never visit a hairdresser. We don't drink soda and vegetables, fruit and meat is not part of our daily menu. According to the minister our food is too cheap. Might be it is for her with her salary but by now one out of ten families live underneath what we call the poverty level. Underneath!

We can't buy what we like and our meals are reduced to twice a day only plus we do not eat much. The child gets skinny and the elderly sibling already calls it anorexia. It's no problem won't be overweight, to be skinny but it is if you start losing hair, get red spots in your skin and your gums keep bleeding.

Since there are no jobs it's pointless to leave school and start working. There's no work and travelling 100 kilometres for a job with a minimum income simply costs too much. Traveling needs to be paid and no employer will pay for it.

The elder sibling suggested to try an online job but that will be hard if you deal with a lousy internet connection and need to wait 15 minutes till a site loads if it loads at all.

The past days I calculated with which amount my income will decrease once the child is an adult. This will be about 300 euros at least. Three hundred euros... I do not even use that amount for shopping, food, clothes, shoes, electricity, school fee, gasoline, internet together a month. So if I skip all these expenses I still don't have enough money.

I doubt I can save enough in the short time left for the next year's but somehow it does feel good to know the lack of amount of money we have to deal with. By the way, it's not that I didn't try to safe I did. I have over fifteen saving boxes to make it possible to pay bills. A saving box for a vacation, some fun doesn't exist not for clothes. If we need clothes we can not buy food. It's that simple.

I saved an amount for each one of my (5) children and helped them with their school fee and driver's license. I saved for them and there's only one more child to go. What I won't do is using the money at the bank account I opened for them to solve this problem. The problem the government made us parents deal with. No money means no way you can study. If an adult child lives with you you have to pay for it and your income is reduced because you "share the same front door ".
I do understand an adult child able to work, with an income, can pay rent etc but what if a child is jobless? The health insurance only will cost over 100 euros a month plus you need to pay the first 385 euros or more yourself (dentist not included) and you are forced to have one. It's no longer a free option.
Funeral insurance is needed too because the average funeral costs 7,500 euros and where we live 10,000 euros I don't have. Ten thousand euros? For what exactly? It sounds to me some are doing big business but without an insurance the family has to pay for it which is something I do not want.

I wonder how come life became that expensive and how other people can afford it. Kicking my children outside is no option because there are no houses. You need to wait over 25 years for a rental home and if you manage to get one who will pay the rent, electricity, the furniture and taxes for that house? Isn't sharing a house cheaper? Clearly not if you ask our government. They rip you off if you let your children live with you.

Am I "sitting on hot coal" as a Dutch expression says? The answer is no. This is out of my hands and perhaps it's time to start making debts, invest in good food and luxury for us instead of "biting on a piece of wood" year after year. Why? Because we won't live forever and the sober life and saving didn't bring us anywhere. If you safe (for your children) you are punished in every way.

#kittywu #parenting #adult #finances #life