Good girls

If it comes to good I would never call myself a good girl. Those words do not feel right and the more I watch the Netflix series 'Good girls' the more uncomfortable I feel with these words. It sounds so American to me. Too American which isn't me. 'Good girls' is about housewives, mothers doing their best to manage their finances. Each one of them has issues. A child that needs medication and a kidney, a lousy husband that loses everything and a restless, single mum who lost herself years ago. What these three women have in common is they are close, they stick together, do the bad things together and do not sell out each other no matter how hard it is and if you are involved with gangsters it is hard.

"We are good girls doing bad things" is what one of the ladies says and it made me think. If it comes to it we all are good girls or boys we are just doing bad things. Some because there's no other way out of the mess we are dragged into by others or the bills just pile up because a child needs medication and a kidney, four other children would end up on the street and the next child decides to be a boy and needs medication for that too. It all sounds like a tale but it isn't. This is real life and so are all those people who think they know something or don't feel any shame to manipulate and blackmail others (in this case these three mothers).

It's easy to say one has to stay on the right path but in real life, we all know that prayers won't help and that if you really need help no one knocks on your door. If it comes to managing, a better life you need to DIY (do it yourself). That line is easier crossed than one imagines and this counts for everyone. You only need to see that lady in church who states in the house of god she is a good girl, the Samaritan who gave 10 thousand dollars to help a child with a new kidney. Is this what a good girl looks like? A liar, fraud, a fake Christian?

If it comes to good it all depends on where you stand, what your norms and values are and who is important to you. It's about principles but priorities too. Family first is what many say and if you put your family first it is a good start. Good as in taking care of each other, reaching out, loyalty and not letting those who are most near to you down. It's interesting to see that even if you care if you put yourself in the last place if you risk everything and your life is at stake, people -own family included- are so ungrateful. Is it a typical thing for mums to forget about themselves and no matter how crazy they are trying to save their family from more disasters?

While watching on -four seasons to go- it's kind of weird how those who put the family in this bad situation in the first place -indeed I'm talking about Dean since children cannot be blamed for their health issues or financial problems parents should deal with- forget how the family got into debts at the first place. Surprisingly enough those who are married stick together. The cop turns into a good boy who only does bad things and the dumb car seller goes from one job to the next to end up with bubbling tubs. Since he wasn't a good guy he can't turn into a bad boy. His stupidity is welcome while the three ladies found a way to print their own money. I must say I envy them about that. Be honest it isn't easy to figure out how to do it and develop a recipe to make it look real. How many good girls can do that?

"I was bored," Beth said and it's clear she could have used more action in her life. Being a housewife, being used by other mothers to do the baking and other 'volunteering' jobs isn't inspiring. It's boring and an ungrateful job next to be taken for granted. We all need some excitement in our life, something need since only something new gives energy. The same old story, same old song doesn't do that trick. You slowly start to hate everything. While writing this it reminds me of all those men who try to make their wives or girlfriends shut up with the words "you are just jealous because I have a job, because I have friends". For the information of those who love to say these phrases, I like to let you know that it's not about jealousy, about having a job or friendship, it's about being the good one. It's about always being the one who glues what is broken and about being taken for granted. It's about people being bored, people who like to try something new and if that new is offered they spread their wings and fly away. Good girls, good boys, good people are people who are not noticed and because they are invisible they will start something new. Something that might not be good but there's a limit to what one can take.

Although I'm not a bad girl I will never be a good girl either. You can blame that on my childhood, the child abuse, the hard life I had or the fact I fought hard for my freedom and paid a very high price for that. Freedom, the right to live and choose whatever you want isn't normal, either is a safe home and good food. These are things many of us need to fight for and indeed in times of need, we do more and things we never dreamed of to make it all possible. I never robbed a bank or grocery, I never shot anyone in his foot or killed someone, I did not ask or beg others for money, I didn't deal drugs, manipulated or blackmailed anyone. I never used drugs, partied whole nights or let others take care of my children. Till today I paid all my bills and even high debts for others. You might call this good but to me, it's not. It feels bitter because it didn't bring me or my family anything. We sat in the cold, gave up on our luxury, good food because of others. People who would never do the same for us, for me and you know what? I let it happen. So in a way, I feel like these three mothers. Beth is bored living the life of a good girl, Annie is still abused and a single mum -after a childhood, you do not wish to anyone- and the intelligent Ruby who's manipulated by a couple that smells money because of a kidney. All I want to say is good girls don't exist and those who claim they are good are most likely the bad ones. It's not that I don't understand why they took that road I just wish I had some of those opportunities too since the bad things good girls do is what gives them energy.

#kittywu #freewrite #good #thoughts