The light was -after days in the darkness, using small candles to find our way around- the best and brightest I saw.
"What is this place," I asked dad while he held my hand.
"Isn't she beautiful?"
He pointed at the bright shining ball in front of us.
"She brightens you up and follows wherever you go."
"What is it?"
"A planet honey bee, one of the moons. This is our moon. Isn't she beautiful?"
Dad was right. She was and I couldn't keep my eyes off her. I studied the big ball in front of me. How could it produce so much light? On a whim, I stretched out my hands to try to touch her. She didn't feel cold or warm.
"Too far, you can't touch her young lady but," he paused and seemed to be in thoughts, "like I said she's too far but not unreachable. She's ours."
Before I could say a word he continued, "at the other side we'll go. Not today but soon. It's the only way out of here. Her light is helpful but now it's too bright. Are you tired dear?"
I was tired. I never walked that far in my entire life. All steps I took were inside our home. A home without stairs at least no stairs I knew about till a few days ago. I still didn't know what was going on, why we had to leave but I wouldn't be alone. Mom and dad came along. I told myself I wasn't a baby. There was no reason not to walk. Dad already carried me through the water.
"Are you tired, daddy?"
"A bit but I'm hungry too. Let's have a break, eat what mom gave us and once finished we head our way home. Come on my little princess we can't stay here the whole night. You never know who's watching us."
"I think there's someone on the moon," I blurted out, "I see a person, look, daddy!"
Daddy quickly pulled me away back into the tunnel. It's there where we sat down and had the weirdest food I ever had. Dad handed me over a small stripe and told me to chew on it. It was dry, salty and while chewing and looking at the light at the end of the tunnel I decided although it looked weird I like it. I liked eating stripes. The stripes dad called meat. I never had eaten meat before. It gave me energy. I nearly choked in the last piece. Dad slapped me on the back while I coughed.
"Don't forget to chew, it's good for your teeth. Do you like it?"
I liked my fingers. I grinned at dad, said I did just not lik the coughing. Coughing hurts my throat.
The walk back went slow. I think dad felt tired too. I felt too tired to use the light mom gave me.
"If you walk and hold my clothes I make light or we walk in the dark if you dare. We'll find our way back there's only one way back."
There wasn't one way but there were two. One back to the pantry and bunker, one back to the giant moon shining on a field we would cross soon. Dad didn't tell what was on the other side. I followed him, held his trousers and wanted to sleep. All I wanted, for now, was to lay down and sleep. Something happened in my head. It was as if it turned into circles on my neck. I felt dizzy and bumped into something.
I heard dad. It was dad, his voice. He called my name but I wanted him to leave me alone. I tried to push him away. "Let me sleep, I just want to sleep," I said. How come he didn't hear me? Was it all just a dream or something inside of my head? Why did he keep calling me? I tried not to listen to push him away the light of the moon shone on me. I was sure I saw someone smiling and waving at me. It wasn't a dream it was real. I wanted to wave back but I couldn't lift my arm. It felt so heavy. My head spun and next all was black.
"She's exhausted."
"I hope you are right. Was it too much?"
"Don't worry. She's not used to going out, the walking. Too many new impressions. You've been out for a long time. I was worried about you two."
"It went fine just on the way back she collapsed. No way to wake her up. I carried her, couldn't leave her there. It's too dangerous and our only way out of here."
"Take your tea dear. Everything we need is packed. We could take it over there before we leave. I'll miss this place, my home."
"There are only a few more days left. We need the light of our moon on our way out. You have to help me with the carrier first. I build it together. I hope she awakes."
He sounded worried. She knew but there was nothing she could change about it.
"Let's sleep first. In a few hours, we decide what to do. As long as we stay here we are safe. A bunker is a good place. They won't find us. We have food. No need to worry right away about what can't be changed. We should consider ourselves lucky. What about all those poor citizens. All good people. They never harmed anyone, never stole, we are no terrorists. It's no longer good as it is. If not this time they will come for us, for her. The blackout takes longer than usual. I marked the days."
"You marked the days? How?"
He sounded surprised as she told him she took the special hourglass and her great-grandmother's old watch.
"They were prepared. No need for power. If their power was cut off they didn't panic. You'll see what I packed. We'll make it."
She sounded self-confident but in her heart was doubt. Not about her child or the man of her life but herself. She wasn't sure she would make it, she wasn't sure if she could leave. It was easier back then as he said he would stay here with her. It wasn't too much asked to return the favour and come with him. How she wanted a new better life. For them as a family in a world where freedom was a right. She had never told him how her childhood had been, shared the fact she was chipped. They would find her unless the power was switched off like during the blackouts. How fast could they run out before they would discover her? What if they found the tunnels because of her?
As they lay on the bed close to each other wrapped in a blanket she found it hard to fall asleep. She needed a plan B in case everything went wrong. If they came they could take her, she could try to remove the chip or... set the monster free. She had smelled it before she saw it and it stood in front of her. Just like it did years ago before her parents closed the pantry.
"There's no need to be afraid, just be friendly. He's gentle," her mother had said. "Be nice."
Nevertheless, she had closed the entry and never set a foot inside again. That monster showed up again. It hadn't been there as they decided to get ready. Not once she had smelled it or it had shown itself. Strange how she forgot about its existence just like she forgot about her mother. Just like so many, she disappeared during a blackout. She hadn't noticed it. She slept never had the chance to say goodbye. The tiny hand of her daughter felt warm against her chest. A letter she would write, a goodbye or better all the best for you letter or a safe journey one. A letter that explained why she did what she did. Just in case. He knows what to do, where to go, how to care about our precious baby. It all would work out fine.
She snuggled closer to her child and not long after she fell asleep.
Part 1: What's cooking
Part 2: Stretching
Part 3: Monsters
Part 4: Guilty
Part 5: The pantry
Part 6: Trash
Part 7: A good life
Part 8: If you ever read this
Part 9: Blackout
Part 10: Are we safe?
Part 11: The pilot study
