Raising children isn't always easy but it isn't that hard as some say either. There's no need to be afraid you can't be a good parent since each parent grows into it. Parents learn knowing their child, themselves and their limitations. As long as they are aware of this they can use it for their benefit.
Little children, toddlers love to give a hand. If you allow them it isn't only good for their development but it's good for you too. Be honest no parent is looking forward to a spoiled, screaming and demanding child too lazy to give a hand. I know I am not plus I never saw myself as the unpaid servant and housekeeper of my children. Cleaning up their room, making their bed, the laundry, washing dishes and all those common, I liked house chores they should do too. Not only because I want them to be independent as soon as possible but also because I don't want them to panic if I am no longer around.
Cooking and cleaning aren't hard if you know how if you can do the job automatically without making any thoughts. Helping out, running your life in the best and easiest way should be taught, learned while doing it. Only practice makes the master.
Indeed clean might turn out not to be as clean as when you do it yourself and yes, a plate can break like happened with us today. It all can cause stress but it's not worth a fight. There's no need to feel miserable about things that can be replaced. I no longer care. It's what happens if you are a parent for more than one or two years. I can replace that plate at the time we are out of plates so at the moment my child worries I take a broom and remove the pieces.
My child did the best it could while cleaning the fryer, washing the dishes and suffering from allergies, with irritated eyes and a nose that refuses the function in a normal way. I took over and finished the job it started on its own, while it sat for a while in a dark room and calmed down.
"Why don't you go to bed," I suggested.
Feeling miserable and trying to hang in is no option. It's Sunday and if it comes to it we live a luxury life. There's no need to get dressed fancy, we aren't awaiting any visitors, there's no need to go out or to wake up at 4 a.m. any longer. Why not take advance of it, the fact the internet is down again and homework cannot be made, simply take advantage of it and close those painful eyes?
It's strange how frequently we keep sitting on that chair no matter how miserable we feel. Why don't we go to bed for an hour or two or if we are that tired or sick sleep till the next day? We don't because we are trained by our society to be active, useful, ready to go, when to be awake and when to go to bed. To many that forced way of living doesn't work out well. The nightbird isn't happy with waking up at 4 a.m. and the early bird shouldn't be forced into a night shift. Those with a lack of energy should be able to rest when needed, live a regular life.
As a parent we should not only know ourselves but learn to be more flexible. Without flexibility life, a life with children will be stressful. I am not saying you should ignore your needs, who you are, your limits because that won't do you any good. If you would do that you will stress out and stress changes the mood which infects others as well.
A child under stress, crying, shouting, feeling sick, lonesome or depressed might not be great company but shouting back is not a solution neither is punishment. Being supportive is and a good talk might help but not at the moment stress has taken over. A time out is what is needed, a break from whatever is done or going on. It's what I give my children but also take myself. With too much stress it's better to be alone for a while, a period to calm down and relax. A nap is a good option and that's why I suggested going to bed which was happily accepted.
It is a little difficult, whoever tells me that it has been easy is a lie, they are nights of crying, fevers, when they fall and get hurt, the first day of school and the first appointment with the teacher. That's how it all begins, but how beautiful it feels to be responsible for the life of these beautiful angels that God does not give for a while.