A good life

Being alone does not mean being lonely. Being together doesn't mean you don't feel lonely. I have been there and honestly, every day I am still thrilled to be alone. I tied the knot and left. Indeed I started again however hard that was. Of course I was not free to go and because I did anyway I was punished. Not punished once but for years on end. What you might have seen in a thriller or horror film is just the tip of the iceberg. I survived it all. I tried to ignore it, I moved again and again, disappeared, lost family and friends and was the stranger again and again. Fighting back I fought even though I lost because there are certain people who are always believed. People who wear masks and pretend to be different from what they are. Press heads, narcissists, charmers who come across as generous givers. People to whom no one enters unexpectedly. Society only sees the nice side. This is nothing new especially when help or money is offered. You have to be very strong-willed to refuse it.

I said no and that did not go down well. Say no thanks to the charming philanthropist and you soon see the true nature. The ugly face then emerges, a face of hatred and anger set off. Saying no, choosing for yourself what you want is not allowed. If someone says nice you are obliged to accept it.

It is said that people more often regret what they did not do. Today it occurred to me that this is not so. I, and definitely others, suffer more for what I did do. Everything you didn't do was for a reason and that reason is probably what you did. Despite all the suffering I experienced, I kept believing that fellow man who claimed that everything had changed now. You should never believe a manipulator but the crazy thing is that we humans do it all the time anyway. You can see that in politics. Everyone knows that politicians lie but en masse the people fall for the c19 hoax and believe everything that is said. Once you live in fear you forget reality and stop looking for facts. The pandemic is not the only example of this. Perhaps fearful times are also necessary to appreciate the fear-free and be content with someone else deciding about you?

Those who don't fit in or do things differently are the black sheep. Those who run away from the flock are shot by the shepherd. Anyone who has no peers soon feels like an odd duck. By now, everyone is an odd duck. Many are looked down upon by their own family, at school, work, in the street or neighbourhood, the country they live in and even their homeland. Those who leave the flock are hated and looked down upon.

How dare he do something different from the rest and play his own boss!

Hatred as a result of envy is the result and thus the witch-hunt is opened. We have seen it all around us in recent years. Everything that was called conspiracy now turns out to be true. Where are now those woke people who wanted to shoot their fellow man? They are suddenly very quiet. Perhaps they are now fighting another war. A war for which yet another group of people will be sacrificed simply because their lives don't matter.

Those like me who have been through a lot will survive it all. That is the beauty of bad times you gain many experiences that make it easier to deal with setbacks and bad circumstances.

Life is, even if not always, still good.

Just look at that goat on the rock. He is comfortable in his skin and does not care about the herd. It will all take its time. He has a safe place all to himself, the sun is shining, the sky is blue and I think he looks extremely content. He does not regret what he never did but lives with the day. Something that works extremely well when you are healthy and content and have just eaten.

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