A Twist In Resolutions

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3 years ago

For some folks, seeing is believing. But I’m part of the blind folks for whom believing means seeing.

“I’m the folktale of that blind man who wants to regain sight at all cost, I’m sorry the grey hair has misinformed you because I dare not say I cherish it one bit. I’ve heard my abled counterparts talk about the uncivility that comes with sight, the unrepentance on the part of men, their waywardness and nudity that would ‘re-blind’ an already blind man.”

It’s safe and comfortable here. Less attention from the world unwilling, fears of darkness conquered again and again, unlike the ones with sight, I do not fear falling as I have gotten acquainted with rising whenever I do. I have comfort at my fingertips, help comes as minor as lifting my legs to be placed on the table.

You think I’m restricted, well, I’m not.

You think I’m frustrated, maybe I am and that would only be from the fact that you can never see from my angle.

Dear reader, I see, in fact very clearly but there’s this ideology that comes with sight and for me it’s not about the daylight that gets recycled without sight full men making judicious use of it, it’s not about the freedom of movement that makes sight full men walk aimlessly to and fro life.

Instead, it’s about believing that there’s more to life beyond sight.

I have resolutions, which is to get better at managing whatever life throws at me. This eyes which I cannot see physically with, I’ll rather not cry with it because I actually do not want it in it physical sense.

vevo(2020)

Instead, like I’ve always done, I want to conquer fears unlike my counterparts who get restricted in some situations just because they have the sight.

I’m the kitten in the shadow of a tiger, I’ll get there someday not because I see it coming but because I’m part of the blind folks for whom believing means seeing.

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A lot of people would think complete body part does the trick. Ask me and I’ll tell you how it doesn’t even measure up. I have full body parts but I am psychologically crippled even more than the disabled.

My aim as a man who is able isn’t to chase or reach the highest epitomes of the society. Rather, it is to better myself in a way that I’ll be psychologically able to think outside the box, engage in different things and endeavors that I won’t do on a normal day.

It’s not jealousy but it hurts to see my disabled counterparts doing things beyond norms. People would say God substituted their sight for the so much knowledge they have, their hearing ability was taken so they could smell so well even more than dogs, they are lame yet every air they breathe into words connotes wisdom from beyond.

Here I am with every bolts of my joints properly screwed, yet it takes so much sweat to produce an intellectual piece. I’m not jealous, I mentioned that earlier, I’m just frightened folks, I think I need help!

For someone like me, let it not baffle you that the kitten in me wants to grow into an intellectual tiger and not the one with a share of dominance in the jungle. Ah yes! It’s personal and that’s why it’s called RESOLUTION. To whom it may concern, my resolution as an able bodied man is to break out of the conditions that makes me A DISABLED MAN WITH ABLE BODY PARTS.

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I’m the poor man with no source of income for the family, I can only afford luxury imaginations and not the life. I’m caught in between meeting up with societal standard in which no matter how hard I try; it hurts me to announce to you that it’s not forthcoming.

However, I’ve found solace. Solace in resolutions because no one else can fill my shoes. My resolution is to agree with fate that I can actually be rich and afford all the lifestyle that I want.

My richness however still doesn’t come in terms of money because I’ve come to the understanding that money is just another standard brought up by humans. I remain poor because I have the orientation that I’m.

I’m the kitten in the shadow of a tiger. I’ll someday grow to be rich in time management and thinking, the manner in which I address people and not let my emotions get the best of me.

The saying of a poor man is an angry man would no longer define me as I look into a future of happiness irrespective.

Yes, I’m part of the poor folks who has gotten richer in his thinking that riches no longer imply money but my outlook to life and it creatures in terms of relationships, how well I treat people and how much time I devout into bettering myself in the face of my plight.

The next time you see me in a tattered clothes, it’s not because I couldn’t afford the money but because I allowed my plight to get the best of me by not treating someone right.

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Some people say a man with wealth has power, fame, thousands of people at his command, some will go as far as even treating him as a demigod. I know because I am in this position myself.

Being in my position definitely has multitude of perks and advantages. I can get anyone to do anything at any time, all I need is the right amount of money. As expected I go through a lot of stress to keep up with my own life, making sure I don’t lose all my hard earned work in a single tap, putting all my energy and soul into my work.

If anyone was to guess what my resolution would be you’d say I need relieve from the stress I go through. In fact, that’s what everyone that’s not in my position would say but alas! my opinion differs!

People usually, anticipate that my resolution would be attributed to money and greedy ambitions. Some people say maybe focusing on money has made me loose contact with my family, and I probably need some time with them like “EVERY RICH MAN” …….

Well, my new year resolution is something I’ve been meaning to do, to reconnect with, in order to better myself. I’ve always felt like there is a hole in my heart where I need to fill up. I spent my youth working for money and struggling I forgot and ignored what youth is meant to be. I can’t say I’m living if all that is in my life is sweat and struggle.

The kitten in me doesn’t need to grow into a tiger ... in fact, it’s ironical. The kitten in me needs to reconnect with the spirit of youth inside me, and I’m sure whatever I grow into would then be MY definition of, “TIGER”, because the only way to be what you’re meant to be is not to grow into what people want but to grow into what you need to be.

Be your own Tiger.

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