I have long hours going back and forth between sleep and wakefulness

My mortal silence and my deadly motives. On the other hand, I am waiting with the pride and self-confidence of being a ready and loyal being behind the curtain. Actually, it doesn't matter what/who I am waiting for, it is indisputable from my point of view that I keep watch of my sheltered inner world.

Sometimes I think I'm an isotope and because I can't break people's prejudices, what is it? I tear myself apart and then dust off my yesterday's joints, of course, poems gush out of my dusty past, you know, there is not much that I keep hidden in my day: three me from the past, my dreams focused on memories and tomorrow.

As I don't know how much time I have left, I constantly postpone happiness as if every new day heralds a new birth, as if a new birth, I ask for words of light from God and He grants me everything I want.

Even if the ball is thrown, I do not wake up, I used to open my eyes at the slightest click and the words escaped from my pupils, just as I was going to record the dream I had just before, I fell asleep again.

How I am looking for my old days when I was a regular in silence, nowadays I hear forty-one balls of balls, and I am just a child from yesterday, which is ringing in my ears.

I start a deep conversation with myself as if there are two beings, when I sit at the table and I sort out my dreams at night one by one, almost as if I was removing the bones of the fish and I never eat fish.

However, I am a medium-sized fish, and I deplore the big fish that swallowed me in one bite, and I am inspired by the small fish I just swallowed.

Just when a big bubble is about to put on paper what I have envisioned in my mind, I give in to my absolute loneliness, which I am subject to, and at the last moment I think about the possibility of my writing being read.

In fact, that ignorance that I have never done is both comforting and hurting my conscience.

To be obsessed with something.

I should also turn off the modem, maybe with any possibility of cyber attack.

The giant wheels that grind the life spent in vigilance are chopping me into crumbs this time.

Thinking that I should sit crooked when I'm going to get up, I think about everything I spoke correctly in order.

Thanks to this freedom of writing, which I gained after my whole life, where words often evoke monologues in my dialogue with myself, I open countless boxes in my memory and take short notes about what comes out of my fertile mind.

A growing boredom as the days progresses, and all I can see is the frequently changing color of the sky.

The ones that flow from my heart and the ones that fall out of my eyes.

The possibility that I have fallen out of favor with someone and I feel sorry for nothing...

As I said at the beginning, what I've given up on is that I haven't been able to progress in a barley field that I've been dealing with lately and no matter what.

Maybe the barley barn and halo I've fallen into can't figure out what I'm after.

Is it because I was defeated against the peace in me and because I could not keep the infrastructure of peace hidden, what is it that I just shoveled in vain and never reached the horizon in the call of eternity...

With the virtue of being a human being, as well as my inadequacy and inability to interfere with the external voice, I just close my ears and I'm still on watch, and I've rounded off the possibility of coming out of the defeat I've been through, whatever dream I burned ships for.

While the zipper of the night is pulled all the way back and the night reigns, I can't take my eyes off my night-eyed dreams, and I go back to my duty.

The day slowly rises after the long hours I go back and forth between sleep and wakefulness, and I end my watch with peace of mind and open my wings to sleep, while of course a part of me will still stay awake.

The breeze of inspiration and drowsiness.

In any case, thanks to the Creator, who took care of me in the other sense, where I took care of my joy of living, I still managed to be happy, even if it was a little, while I gave way to a peace that I can't underestimate, and the joy of life inside me despite all the negativities I experienced...