Loneliness

Loneliness

Nowadays, many people experiences being lonely. I was browsing on social media and I saw several posts about loneliness and depression. Most of the people who shared such posts are teenagers and young adults. But the truth is, loneliness is not just common to young adults. It can affect people of all sort. It doesn't matter what race came from and what your social status is. Loneliness hits people of all ages. There are many reasons why people become lonely.

To be honest, several months ago, I have to detoxify myself from the internet and I even took a hiatus from writing and publishing articles here. Why? Because I was lonely? The feeling of not knowing my self-worth, hopelessness and simply not being able to do the things I can do previously. Seeing how happy the people I connect with on social media made me jealous, and I pitied myself and loneliness is killing me inside. Add the fact that my friends are also pressuring me about not having a boyfriend while all of them have made me mad and lonely as well. Felt like they just want me to go along with the crowd which is against my will.

How about you? You, who's reading this right now. Have you ever felt being lonely? Perhaps at this moment you are lonely?

All of us felt being lonely at some point in our lives, and we had the need to have a companion, someone who can lend an ear to listen to our worries, rants, to reassure us that someone understands or to simply make us feel that someone wants to listen. Someone who is sensitive enough to the emotions that we feel.

But does being alone means being lonely? Not necessarily. We can be alone for a specific period of time without being lonely. Personally, I prefer being alone to enjoy the things I love. I love being alone when going to the movies, when visiting a beautiful and refreshing place and alone at home. But it doesn't mean I'm lonely. I just love doing things alone.

This is what The American Heritage Dictionary says:

“Alone emphasizes being apart from others but does not necessarily imply unhappiness. . . . Lonely often connotes painful awareness of being alone . . . Lonesome emphasizes a plaintive desire for companionship,” that is, a condition of grief, woe, or melancholy. The person’s heart needs to be comforted with sincere and loving fellowship for it to be cheerful once again. Finally, solitary is defined as a condition that “often shares the connotations of lonely and lonesome . . . Frequently, however, it stresses physical isolation that is self-imposed.”

Just like me, there are also people who enjoy solitude on their own. But there is a saying that 'no man is an island', a person needs to communicate his or her own feelings to others, but when the desire to share those feelings and concerns are not met, it results in being lonely. For example, when we are in a crowd or a group of friends or even acquaintances, and there is no response from others we could feel being out of place. It can be frustrating and may result to loneliness, unless you are already used to being ignored.

Loneliness can be very powerful. It can be the cause of someone's pain, and the feeling of being empty. When you are lonely, you feel isolated and being cut off from others. You are at your vulnerable state, and you feel being frightened.

What causes loneliness then? Like I mentioned earlier, there are various reasons why people feel being lonely? The circumstances in life, the problems, and the situation we are in can make us lonely. Being rejected by others and by peers because of racial discrimination, the way we look physically or just because of religion. We can also become lonely because of the sudden changes in life such as new environment because of transferring to a different school or because of a new job and moving to a different house. Losing a loved one can also make us feel lonely. There may be more reasons aside from these depending on a person's circumstance.