My Kind of Existential Crisis

For someone who has just been new to this adulting thing, I'm pretty sure have a lot of questions which cannot be answered in just a day. For one, I always asked myself what to do next for my future. Should I start a small business? Should I apply in a government agency? Should I apply abroad? Should I apply to another private owned company which offers higher salary locally? Or should I just stay on my current employer hoping to get an increase one day? Am I doing the right thing? Is this my life's purpose? Or is there something else? These are the things that goes into my mind every single day, and it's almost making me crazy. Can somebody help me? Please?

Well, for the past 4 years of my career, I always felt like there's something missing. Something that I needed to go through, something I needed to do than just doing what I am doing right now. It's been a heck of a ride of whether I should pursue my engineering career, or should I just change my field to something else. Maybe I should study another subject, or get another degree? Maybe I just need to have my master's degree? Or maybe I just need to become a potato for the rest of my life which makes me kind of stupid for wasting what I have right now. Maybe I need counseling? Urrrrgh! I really don't know what I'm doing with my life dear readers? Are you feeling the same too? I bet not.

As I have read different articles from this platform, most of other author's articles are about their life experiences and they all look so good to me, like they all know what they are doing with their life, and I'm just here feeling so shitty. Why did I become an engineer and just feel so messed up? Why? Is this what they call an existential crisis? I guess this is my kind of existential crisis.

To be honest, I really don't know how to overcome this messed up feeling I'm feeling right now. I don't have a map but I do have God.

And as the bible said, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”, Jeremiah 29:11.

This bible verse somehow calms my mind. It somehow gives us hope that everything will fall right into there places with the Lord. And I just hope that this feeling I am feeling right now will end soon. That with the presence of God in my life, I can be able to decide in accordance to His will and in that way, I know I am doing what I am supposed to do. That I'm doing my life's purpose, the purpose why He, gave me this opportunity to live on Earth.

And I hope one day, the next time I'm gonna write something about my existence in this platform, it is about what I have done to continue living, and to have all the answers I have asked above.

And I hope that on that day, you my readers will all be there to share with me a celebration of my life. Thank you for reading!