I Just Want to Quit Everything Sometimes
LIFE! It is really exhausting living sometimes. I feel myself in that loop again, of not knowing what should I do to make life better. Damn it! Aside from being so lost in the moment, I find it exhausting to live because of how expensive living is right now and how limited our actions are given that the pandemic hasn't ended yet.
How are you coping up these days?
I can't even answer that questions in a straight line lately because I know I'm not doing fine. Sure you can say, it's alright because I have a job, a family, friends and loved one but sometimes, nothing really seems to matter.
You just feel the weight of the world all at once suddenly in the middle of the day and you just can't prepare for it. You see, I'm at work right now as I write this article and my mind is floating through space & time, thinking what am I doing with this life? Another existential crisis episode is happening to me, I guess. Maybe my username is called thelostadult because I really am and no one can help me.
Most people around me think that I'm an achiever, I achieve a lot of things that surely made them proud and even set their expectations higher without them knowing I struggled too. It's so hard really, sometimes I just want to quit everything and settle some place peaceful away from all this pressure thrown at me in this life. But I just can't. I can't.
I know and I believe I am meant for greater things. The problem is just I don't know how to get to those great things. Life's challenges have become more and more difficult each day, and waking up each day becomes unbearable from time to time. Maybe I need friends? Or a good laugh? But my friends are far from me. They're so far that I don't want to disturb them about life problems because I know they have their own problems too.
I just wish life was never this hard. I just wish my mind is as optimistic as other people. I really can't function the whole week without breaking down. I just wish I'm as strong as other people.
This article is just as random as my thoughts and I'm sorry if I just wasted your time reading this. I really just needed to ventilate my thoughts or else I'm gonna be crazy. But I guess Paulo Coelho is right, it's better to be crazy and happy than to be normal and bitter at all.
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