Whatever is done in the dark, shall be brought to the light.
How ironic is life, how people are unable to accept their mistake, justifying, looking for culprits, saying that they never did wrong, that they should not ask for forgiveness, making others feel miserable to not look in the mirror themselves and accept it. I will not deny that I have also invaded issues to avoid facing reality, that does not mean that when I make a mistake I will run away, on the contrary, I try to accept my mistake to finish closing that chapter in my life, move forward, take a much bigger step, I can not stagnate in the same thing every day.
People always flee to our shadow, to that side of us that we do not accept, we can even spend a lifetime hiding it. When everything we hide comes to light, we feel cornered, we need to defend ourselves, because who is going to believe that such a "good" personality has something wrong, a mistake? So, I need to deflect it all, maintain my stance, "I am not like that." Very archaic thinking, and people like that are going to surround themselves with manipulable people, easy to change, mold to their benefit, feed their idea of "Everyone is wrong but me." When these situations occur our wounded child comes out, defending himself the way he defended himself as a child; aggressiveness, aggression and guilt, but never accepting anything that happens, not accepting everything that we appear to be, is something difficult. We all have good and bad sides, we just have to find the balance, because we are not all perfect, nor do we have to be.
Two years ago I learned of the existence of a woman; a woman full of charisma, always showing enthusiasm and desire to live life. As the months went by, I realized that her personality was a complete lie, that nothing of what she said or pretended to be was true, on the contrary, she was full of resentment, resentment that made me completely curious, wanting to know more about her. My ex-boyfriend worked in the same office as her, there I realized that she was a toxic person, meddlesome, her opinion had to count, because if not, she created a problem. She put her head in matters that were simply none of her business, a mistake of my ex boyfriend at that time was to allow her to continue giving her opinion, to be able to talk everything about me and the relationship, a very uncomfortable situation to tell the truth, it filled me with anxiety to see how that woman got under our noses, I did not understand why, I looked for a way around, I discovered that he was lying to me, that he really did allow her to enter our lives, something that I never agreed with.
I must say that thanks to her I have my current pet, my cat named Pollo, the only good thing I can say about her, otherwise it is impossible. I spent many months consuming all negative thoughts towards her, I could not see her, talk about her without resentment, the disgust I felt towards her was so great that I could not even hear her name. When I started the psychologist I had to write about her, with pencil and paper, to close that cycle once and for all, I did not realize that I had left an open side, very small, but it was there, some time later I found out, that she was still spreading her venom, talking about me, giving her opinion as always, and there, I made the decision to eliminate her completely from my life, unmask her, show the world her true face, it was hard, there were shocks on the way, even so, she at no time accepted her mistakes.
Why again do I decide to write about her and the situation? To close this chapter once and for all, I want to be able to drain all feelings that are not worth having. In order to follow my path I have to leave behind toxic attitudes and people, I decide to let go of everything I once felt for you María Alejandra, I mention your name to make it worthwhile, I know you will continue to be the same, you will not change, I do not see hope in you no matter how sad it sounds, I don't want to continue being part of this whole show, live happily, hand in hand with people who always spoke ill of you and now they are your allies, I will never wish you ill, it would be inconsistent on my part, I just hope you also decide to let go, close the cycle, continue your life apart, without ever mentioning me.
The learning from all this is that repressed people will always judge free people. I am not going to say that I have not made my mistakes, or I am a saint of my devotion, not at all, I have always talked about all the stumbles I have made, I still get up and try to follow my path, without looking back, that is what matters. I will never say on social networks that I am a good person, that I have good acts yes, of course there are also the bad ones, I will never deny them and I think that's the important thing, accept your mistakes, learn from them, I always mention the positive side of the negative, life is a constant learning, I feel that every thing that happens to us we deserve to get something good out of it, it is my way of thinking, I will not change it easily.
Growing up is not only saying goodbye to something, growing up is also learning from what is happening. What lessons did this bring to my life? What person was I before this experience, and what person am I now? The way it influenced me is incredible, in all aspects (positive and negative) it is a new experience brought to my life, no matter how it is, the important thing is that it was. It is about breaking the cycle, what I am not doing correctly or what is the situation that is repeating itself over and over again, why is it happening, what do I have to learn from it? It can be not to trust people so much, to listen to them more, or my intuition, to analyze my opinions when doing things. If we do not focus on what the situation is trying to teach us, we will never move forward, we can try to leave something behind, but if we did not learn correctly what we should, we are not doing anything.
We should not tie ourselves to anyone, even if we are very important in our lives, we should not do it, it is my way of thinking, if I love you, I want you to be free. I am no longer a child, I am an adult, I do not intend to keep repeating acts that I do not want to live again.