Insecurities are beautiful

Beauty is beyond everything. It all started, when God gave us life, when we first opened our eyes into this world. As a young child we believed to those stories in fairy tale books, that it might actually happened in real life. But now, as we grew older, what is our perspective when we hear ‘that’ word. How can you define the word ‘beautiful’? Is it pertaining to the physical features that we have? Is it pertaining to our personalities, our characteristics? Or is it pertaining to the life that we have?

Every morning I will look at the mirror and ask myself if I am beautiful. Honestly, I am so conscious about my appearance, how do I look today? Is my outfit alright? Did my face get puffy again? Or did I gain weight? These are the questions that keeps my insecurities so high.

We are living in a society where appearance always matters. When you wear a jacket at a hot weather, you will catch their attention and asks you, no, let me rephrase that, they will tell you such offensive words like ‘hey, such a cold weather we got here eh?’ then they will laugh at their own joke that is not really funny for me.

Countless people will get to the gym just to workout because someone said that they are huge and the buttons of their clothes can pop out in no time. Countless people cannot eat nor sleep because they think what others may think of them. Countless people get affected by those insulting words and chose to hide in the corner or worst, they decided to just end their life because they cannot feel their worth.

Some of them changed but they changed not knowing who they truly are. They forgot their real self. They changed to impress those toxic people around them, they changed not for the better as they cannot feel the true meaning of happiness.

But you know what, all those insecurities that we have got is the definition of beautiful. Why? Because of those insecurities we are curious about something. We are learning a lot of things. And even Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty got insecure by Psyche. What if you change the negative mindset you have right now? What if instead of thinking their opinions as offensive words, you will take those words as the opposite way? We will go to gym or eat healthy foods not just to get skinny but we go to the gym and eating a balanced diet for our healthy body and mind. We are investing in skin care not because we want to get a pretty face but because we want to be hygienic. We are happy to dress ourselves not because we want to impress people but we are just simply happy about it. We can wear anything we want and try to ignore those bashers, just kidding.

But insecurity is not all about appearance, we can also get insecure at the things that we do not have, I mean those ‘material things’ that we do not have. Some of us will get motivated because of these but some of us picked the other way around. It is beauty that we want to achieve something in our life. It is beauty that we have dreams and we are working hard to fulfill it. It is beauty that we got passion and aspiration because of those insecurities. Everything that we do is beautiful depending on the intentions that we have.

Beauty is the confidence that we have. It is in our mindset. Loving those imperfections means loving yourself. Always remember that we are making our own beauty. Because the real definition of beautiful is us.

My mother has flaws, well, all of us have flaws. Every time that we are fighting on such petty things like normal siblings does, she will be doubted herself if she was a good mother, if the manners and knowledge that she taught us was not enough for us to behave, afterwards her eyes will get tear up.

She would not ask for help on doing household chores although she was already tired. She can easily adapt on what is trend because she wants to understand what are the things that we like. She will give us advice whenever she observed that we have problems in school, friends or in our love life and suddenly show her bright smile just to assure us that it will be fine, that everything will be fine.

She can get mad when she has to. She is not spoiling us when she thinks we do not need the things that we ask. We got curfew until six at night but we can get overnight at our friend’s house if it is about study and if she thinks that our friend can be trusted and the last rule is ‘no boys and alcohols allowed’. Maybe some of you think that our mother is quite strict but for us, it is alright. Of course, we are making silly things too. We sometimes break those rules. We will ask a permission to come over at our friend’s house to study but the truth is it was a slumber party. We sometimes go home past six at night. We are exploring our teenage life but our mother did not get mad at us instead she let us to explore, she let us to explore the dangerous world outside. But after all that happens, we will go back to her and ending up crying telling that she was right.

It is beautiful that we got a mother like her. Because if not, then we might not grow like the way we are now. We might not achieve the knowledge that cannot steal by anyone. We might not get motivated to study hard. We might not look for the dreams and goals that we want to reach. And it is beautiful that she raised us to be a religious person. She is beautiful because she let us see the world outside despite of how dangerous it is. She was beautiful when she told us that, “Life can be dramatic at times, life is full of challenges and problems but that what makes it beautiful. We can never see the true beauty of it if we will not look further but closely.”

We can keep a certain standard of beauty if all of us are contented on what we have. People are so obsessed of their looks. They want to always look young which cannot really happen because all of us have limited time in this world so why not make the most of it? It is not always about the looks that matters. If you get stuck just thinking about your looks all the time, what about the other things? You can travel at different country, at the different part of the world, met some random people, shop at different stores, eat a unique food or try new things that you never tried to do.

What is the matter if you have acne on your face? What is the matter if you are fat? What is the matter if your color is not white? What is the matter if you are too skinny? What is the matter if you are happy on who you are?

If you are one of those people who love to say an abusive word to a person or shall we say the person that you call as a ‘friend’, note the sarcasm please, then you are not destroying them but you are destroying yourself. Do not get affected by them because those people are the one who has numerous insecurities inside them.

It is quite outrageous when you attain that standard of beauty that society believes, perfect body, white and flawless skin, small skinny face and the white perfect-lined teeth. But the question is, are you happy? Are you happy that because you have ‘that’ standard of beauty you got a lot of friends or should I say two-faced friends? Are you happy because you have those branded things, everyone’s attention was on you? Are you happy that because you are a ‘chic’, all girls or boys wants you to be theirs, well, just to get popular at school? That was all an immature act, seriously, what is wrong with you people?

Beauty standards has been set by society. Most of us will compare ourselves on what society shows us. The society proclaim that women must wear makeup, women and men must do workout to get the right curves in right places, and stay young like we do not age. For these reasons, people end up to lose their self-esteem and the real perception of beauty because they did not attain the expectations that society wants which can lead to mental health issues and other illnesses.

However, positive people have different perspective of beauty. They are expressing themselves just the way they are. They are taking it as aspiration and passion to achieve their dreams in life. They believe that they are unique and authentic. They get affected by the toxic society but they can alter the situation, they will look at it as a challenge, a challenge that they want to succeed.

The standards of beauty have its own advantages and disadvantages depending on how you perceived it. We are setting our own standards of beauty. Beauty can be emotional, creative, and deeply spiritual force. There are people who thinks beauty is circularly about the physical appearance but there are also people who thinks that beauty comes from within, our personalities, attitudes and characters. But beauty is just simply being happy, healthy, and taking care and loving ourselves.

When I was fourteen, I thought being beautiful means having a great body like those celebrities in the television or having a smooth skin or a beautiful face with no pimples or wearing trendy clothes and shoes. But when I started to learn new things, to understand the people around me and when I realized what I want to be in the future, my perception got changed.

My grandmother whose skin was all sagged, her hair turned white, she now got a blurry vision, cannot hear properly and in her old age she cannot walk like the way she used to, she is using a wheelchair now as she got sick. One afternoon, when we are preparing to go to church, she is wearing a dress that is comfortable in her situation and she jokingly said to us, “Now, I cannot wear heels because I already have these wheels” then we laugh but we noticed her sudden changed of expression. My grandfather, her husband, whispered in her ears, “You are still beautiful in my eyes, Jo”, calling her at their endearment and hug her, my grandmother smiled and have that glow where you can say how they truly love each other. It was beautiful. They are beautiful.

In my middle school, I was in ranked number two. I thought my parents would get mad at me because I did not top as number one that time but when I saw them at the designated chairs for the parents of the honor students, I cannot believe that they are smiling at me while I am on the stage delivering my speech and my mom was even taking a video which made me a little bit embarrassed, well, just a little bit. Then after my parents worn me the medals while receiving my award at the stage, they said that they are so proud of me. Again, it was beautiful.

My siblings and I have a joyful relationship towards each other. We may sometimes fight but we have this strong bond that no one can break us apart. They are also my companion during the times that I am having a hard time adjusting to my new school. They will call me at my phone and said ‘Hey, do you still have class? Let’s go to our fave café?’. We are five children in the family, I have three sisters and one brother. My brother is cool, he may be the only son in the family and we have different likes and dislikes but we all have a common thing that we really like to do which are watching movie or anime and playing mobile legends. Once more, it was beautiful.

I also have friends who helps me to cope up. They are like my brothers and sisters. When I want to go out at my comfort zone, they are beside me. Of course, we have different lives too but we understand each other and giving space but whenever you are ready to tell your problems, problems that sometimes you cannot say to your family, they are there to listen even if it is just some of your random rants. Let me say it again, it was beautiful.

I am beautiful as I am contented on what I have, I am not talking about the material things that I can buy but I am talking about those people who made my life beautiful. God is beautiful. Every day and every night, I am thanking God for what I have right now and promised to Him that I will cherish all this moment and that I will take care of myself just like how He takes care of me. I am thanking Him because He gave me this life that even though it was full of challenges, He always gave me strength to help me surpass all the hurdles. And now, I realized that the word beauty is not about the pleasing appearance that everyone wants to see on us, it is about how we appreciate and see the beauty of life. I want you to remember that we are all beautiful.