I haven't seen my father for almost two years now and it's been a year and a half since we last talked over text messages. Whenever I hear about his name or just his name was brought up in a conversation, I feel that loud heartbeat like the feeling of being alone in the dark and suddenly you saw someone who wants to stab you. It is so hard to move on and at the same time, whenever I think about how irresponsible and not-worthy of a father he is, I can honestly say that I regret living this life.
Once someone betrays you in any way, you may believe you'll never be willing to forgive them. Even after your initial rage has subsided, you may choose to concentrate on the betrayal rather than allowing it to disappear from sight.
Forgiveness develops to sentiments of empathy, sympathy, and understanding for the person who has wronged you. Forgiveness does not imply forgetting or dismissing the hurt you have suffered, nor does it imply making amends with the person who inflicted it. Forgiveness provides a sense of calm that allows you to go forward with your life.
Forgiving someone isn't just a form of a few sentences that you say to someone and that's the end of it. Countless individuals consider forgiveness to be beneficial to the repentant person. It can undoubtedly make things better, but forgiving is most beneficial to you. I think that even though at most points, I consider myself to not bother that my father is not doing anything to fix the problems or doesn't even provide. At the end of the day, I still resent the fact that my mother had to catch all the work of being a father and a mother to both her children to the point she almost forgets to take care of herself. This is why I have so much respect for single parents because they do many things at once, especially the ones that don't really have anybody on their side to somehow rest for a while.
It really is hard to predict what offenses or old triggers will make people feel bitter and furious, so using the balm of reconciliation as a preventive step, as a sort of investing in oneself and a more positive world might be beneficial. It's critical to realize that you may forgive others without renewing contact or resuming a relationship. Even though you know you'll never be able to have the same connection again, you can forgive someone. You may even need to avoid touch depending on the situation.
People are programmed to revenge once they've been injured by another individual. Our self-esteem or pride has been harmed. Our hopes and ambitions have been dashed.
At some point, the evil end of the stick is what people see to be able to move on. Those people who choose to hurt or, even, end other people's lives are the ones under such burden. Most of the time, we can't really blame these people since losing someone always makes us feel that the world has already turned its back on us, especially on the times where we lost our loved ones in the most painful situation. Forgiveness is a feature of human character that has changed over the centuries through natural selection. Forgiveness and retribution are social tendencies that primitive people used to overcome issues.
Forgiveness may manifest in many ways. Although reconciliation can occur as part of the healing journey, forgiveness isn't just about reconciliation. When emotional forgiveness is accomplished, the person will have transformed unpleasant emotions like wrath, resentment, and desire for revenge with good emotions like sympathy, kindness, understanding, and selfless love, which are connected with bitterness and anger.
Forcing yourself into a situation you don't really know if will benefit you or the others is nowhere near a good idea.
Forgiveness is a decision, according to research. Some individuals are innately more forgiving than others. As a result, they are happier with their life and suffer from less melancholy, worry, tension, rage, and hostility.
Personally, I think it's hard to forgive because of the fact that you are not satisfied in the current situation that the person that hurt you is in at the moment. At some point, you imagine that person in the worst way possible. Another reason can be that you still suffer from the pain and it's hard for you to say sentences that will affect both of you. You are constantly questioning yourself on what happened and why did everything happen. You may bark about the facts, but at the end of the day, you are still stuck in the same elevator that won't go up.
It's rare that you'll be able to let go of your pain in a single sitting. It takes time, but you'll see that it's well worth the effort as you strive toward it.
As for me forgiving is easy,but forgetting is hard. The mistake/ pain that the person had done to you leaves a scar's and that's why we think that it is hard to forgive, because the scar's remain,but actually we already forgive that person, we just didn't forget the pain that brought you a scar.