It is already dark, a longing night falls out again. It became a routine that I never thought I'll get tired of. It was a wonderful and peaceful feeling before, a soaking mind seeking for opportunities to run. Until it became a run away dream, an old dream that wonders in my sleep that keeps me alive, became a myth of an abandoned passion. It was a great memory of being productive, talking with friends through online video calls, drinking my iced coffee, all while listening to music. Makes me dance in the wave of night and moon as they witness my liberty from pain, as the see my reality, my true self. I felt like I was in a cloud, smiling through the fade of blurry visions not intending to lose it all at once. Glancing at the top of the sky, I knew right there that all I want was a peaceful night, a gaze of visions, goals, plans, and dreams. That was indeed a great experience to feel, to be felt, I still crave for those moments I wanted to go back to those times wherein I was the owner of my own pace.
Did you atleast expected this turn out of life? Before 2am, I was just watching videos and laughing at those moments. I was just scrolling through my feed and not knowing, this could be my reality. I am now drained, tired and have no hopes in motivating myself. I became the person whom I never thought I'll be. I grow up, that's all I know, I learned and experienced things that forever changed who I am. I now have these lessons in me that I could use someday, being sad doesn't make you less, it makes you realize and reflect to things that you've done. It makes you believe in yourself that something in you still craves for improvment and growth. We can be better us and face fears, because it makes us know that we still have something to lose, that we still have the heart to take care of.
This is my yearning for wisdom, thinking about life is what makes me alive, I wanted to enjoy and live life while the night is still here, a semi-colon for my thoughts reminding me that it is not over yet, that I still have a lot of purpose to feel and to experience. Memories do stay and I'll live for them for they make me have the sense of living and exploring. The treasure of every moment will remain in my 2:33am thoughts, for it was the besf that I could ever think of. My lifetime is linear, it's a rocky road of emotions and feelings, just don't dwell in those phases for it will make you fall for a wrong path. Absorb every lesson, may it for you truly, or for your thoughts.
Everything's changing, the only thing that I am certain of, we change because we finally wrote a chapter in our blank boards of life.
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