A few years back, I had enrolled the kids in a Performing Arts workshop. As part of the Graduation ceremony, the kids had to perform what they had learnt. It was cuteness overload with the little ones performing synchronised dance moves and reciting nursery rhymes. The older ones had to perform short skits and monologues they had written. Those were more like truth bombs with teen angst thrown into the mix.
One of the monologues hit hard. An original titled "Who's Keeping Score?"
The first line was "I got 5A's and 1B and Mum says what did you get the B for?"
FACT - Asian parenting includes sky-high expectations. Just as the parents bend backwards to give the kids all tools to win the race, they expect the kids to cross that finish line, not only first but break some records along the way.
I may be exaggerating, or perhaps not. Maybe things have mellowed down some with modern-day parenting, but it still exists in variations and levels.
Here, academics are super important and above anything else. For those who can afford it, their children are sent to International schools that cost an arm and a leg. Those on the borderline of money will sacrifice accordingly for the best education possible.
And if all else fails and their kids have to succumb to the failings of national schools and uninspired teachers, then it is tuition after school to make up for the missing pieces. And to add to that, bring in the workbooks, for there is no such thing as too much study time.
Of course, by now we know that academics alone isn't going to cut it. , so extracurricular activities are squeezed in, especially sports. Anything to add the Wow-Factor to Uni applications to put the child 3 steps ahead of everyone else.
The sad part is, not all kids can cope. There are just one too many stories of kids, unable to handle the pressure, giving in to it in the worst possible way. Kids who take their lives as young as 12 because that first "big" exam looming at the end of the year is just too much. Or if the results of said exams are not the straight A's expected. Depression amongst the young is on high alert at schools.
For the last couple of years, the education ministry has been trying to make the system holistic in its approach. But when they introduced it, teachers, parents and students couldn't see the good in it.
How will they be assessed now? What were they thinking about getting rid of exams in primary school? How will the kids know their progress? How will parents be able to help the kids reach "their" goals?
A couple of years back, we were told that students will not be segregated according to their achievements. Parents were up in arms during report card day. Students were crying, unable to understand how all their hard work of achieving straight A's still put them in the "lowest" class? And all of this in primary school. Even before they are officially teens.
Things were still a work in progress and then the lockdowns happened. Right now things are awry, and quite a few exams had been cancelled. What will happen when things go back to normal? Will they be able to have a syllabus that is encompassing more than just academics moving forward? Will the teachers be prepared? Will the parents be accepting and ready to encourage a generation that is currently in limbo? Will the students excel to be more rounded adults?
What about me? Of course, I want to equip my children with all I can. Times are tough and I would love for them to have the extra tools to combat life and I do my best to give them the best within my capacity. Have I asked them about that one "B"? I have - after the celebrations of the A's. Not aggressively, but in subtle ways to find out if there was anything I could have done to help. If there's anything they could have done to achieve it.
I do not expect straight A's but I won't lie, the Mummy peer pressure can be tough. I do catch myself when I feel myself spiralling down the rabbit hole of achievements and focus on encouraging them to do their best and supporting them through their not-so-bests.... Sometimes it can be frustrating, but most times I give thanks to the somewhat decent teens under my roof :D
Prompt: Who's Keeping Score
Time: 10 minutes