Hello, My Love, Goodbye!

You'll just realize one day that the things that used to be your favorites suddenly fade. You've got to get moving, though. It is not always because of you that it has just become like that. There are certain factors in this world that we cannot control. It is vitally important that you get to the root of it and resolve it early on. If not, they broke us down and left us with lots of questions.

When you fall, you are usually held up to stand again by someone who used to be at your side, someone who means a lot to you, and someone whom you think will always be at your side regardless of whether you are at your weakest and craziest. As I was told, it is all about trust and loyalty. When you fall, you are always brought up again by the same person who pulled you down.

I am doing this, I mean, writing this because I realize I should let go of the things I am trying to hold onto.  And I should stop trying too hard to protect someone who is, unintentionally, starting to cause more harm. It hurts too much already, and I can't bear the pain anymore. Some part of me still wants to hold onto the hope that you'll come back, but I can't help but feel pity for myself. It is a pity that I am still here feeling like I am more than special to you, although deep down in my heart, I know that it is not that way.

Remember the day you told me I was good enough? That was one of my happiest days, if not the best. I feel so special because no one has ever told me that before. I do deserve your praise, but when I heard it, I wanted to scream instead. For the first time, I could see myself as somebody, and that was wonderful. I feel the butterflies in my stomach. But it is sad because I overreact into what you've said.

I don't know what your emotions were at that time since you only said it through chat, but hey, I really felt happy at that time. I never thought that you were just bluffing me since I perceived you as a kind person the first time we saw each other. 

We shared a lot of things like this and like that, and I feel safe and comfortable with you. I did not notice. I was already falling in love with you. so deep that I almost couldn't manage to swim back to the top. And that's what I've been telling you exactly now in this article. I am not sure if there is a chance that you will read it, but I just want to say that in those moments when I felt so in love, I tried my best to hide it. But guess what, I couldn't. And you know what is more painful than that? I thought your actions towards me had meaning. So sad, it was just an illusion.

Sobbing, I want to scream. This one-sided love is far more painful than being brokenhearted. I am sorry if I distanced myself from you. I just don't want to sink into a deeper abyss. The pain is already too much. Though your smile makes me feel happy and in love, the fact that we can't be together is far heavier.

But again, hello, my love. It is hard to say goodbye to the things we shared together, the laughs and happy experiences, but it is bound to happen. But don’t worry, because the world still has a lot of light in the dark. Maybe, just maybe, if we meet again in the future and we are still both single, I might have the courage to confess. Thank you for all the things we have been through, and I’m still sure something amazing will come along our paths eventually. And for now, let me find myself first and know my worth.