Do you have to be happy?

Sometimes it is very difficult to live in this modern world. They are bombarding you on all sides with various imperatives that you have to follow and advice for a better quality of life that you didn't even ask for. And the most common imperative of all is known as "be happy"

The media and social networks are full of tips on how to become happy in five steps. You can watch those great American movies every day, which must have a happy ending, and if you don't get such an ending by chance, you will be disappointed, because you are used to being served a story with a "happy ending"

.Then, when people come to psychotherapy sessions, often when asked what is the goal they want to achieve with the therapist, they answer with: "To be happy!". When you have a child, you wish him health and, you guessed it again -good luck! How many songs only talk about how important it is for us to be happy. We better not even talk about motivational speakers and strong inspirational messages on the Internet. And what does "being happy" really mean?

Happiness is like love. The ultimate goal of many of our works, and yet often so unattainable and vaguely defined. Happiness is fluid - its definition for us changes as we grow, as people and as individuals. It is a term that definitely differs from person to person. For some, happiness is precisely the previously mentioned love, so with these people there is a sign of equality between these two concepts. For others, happiness is when you are healthy or when you have a lot of friends,and for others, happiness is measured by the color of the shoes they have or the number of zeros in their bank account.

That happiness is a relative term, which differs even from country to country, is shown by the latest research on which are the happiest countries in the world. Surprising data were that e.g. The United States, which many think is the happiest country, is only in thirteenth place. The first positions are in the Scandinavian countries, Switzerland, Iceland, Canada, New Zealand, Australia. The first thing that will come to your mind is for sure that they are economically powerful countries and therefore to be at the top of the ladder of happiness that their citizens feel. However, in fourteenth place is Costa Rica, which ranks much better than, for example, France, which is also a well-developed Western European country, and took only thirty-second place.
All the previous data show that material things are not the only measure of our happiness. Security, stability, and then the values ​​that society imposes on us also play an important role here. These values ​​are promoted in society as an ideal that is desirable and welcome, and over time it very easily grows into an imperative, into something that is "a must". That "must" is not always served to us directly as such, but when the message "be happy" is filtered through all channels and overwhelms us, we ourselves add that big exclamation mark to the end of the message and start denying any other reality. In other words, let's do it ourselves. It all goes easier when the circumstances are favorable, so we really feel that happiness.

And what to do when circumstances make our journey to happiness difficult? How to be happy in unfortunate circumstances? That's where the problem arises. What it is? First, there is a society that imposes certain values ​​and generally accepted definitions of happiness on us. You are happy if you have a roof over your head, a car, a steady and secure job. You are happy if you find a "person of your life", you get married to her and you have a lot of children. You are happy if you can travel with that family regularly, if you have a lot of friends with whom you hang out regularly. And howthe average person has a strong need to be fit and to belong somewhere, he accepts such values ​​practically at birth and often does not even question them, but simply incorporates them into his own value system. In other words, most people thus become part of the mold, a machine that constantly works without an idea of ​​where it is going and when it will stop. Because the only thing he knows is that we can't stop.

We can't because society will condemn him for that and that will mean that he is not really happy then. WE START LOSING HAPPINESS WHEN OUR DEEDS STOP PURPOSE. The purpose is one that is often not in those strong imperatives of happiness that serve us, because it differs from person to person. In other words, when we do something for years that doesn't really fulfill us, but we get it by default in a package with some life role, we easily become unhappy, because we have lost touch with ourselves and with what for us actually represents happiness. Our deeds have thus ceased to have a purpose. How many times would you just ask the question Why do you stay in an unhappy marriage? or Why don't you look for a new job, when this one is stressing you so much? Get the answer I don't know? There are few people who could really say: Yes, I am very happy. Not because they are not, but because they are not even aware of it, because very often our definition of happiness differs from the one we are served, so it is easy to get confused and lose touch with what happiness really is for us.

It is true that happiness is not a destination to strive for, it is not the ultimate goal of our actions. Throw all those instant solutions that are offered to you in order to finally "be happy" into the water immediately. You don't have to do anything, you are not in a hurry. You are probably already happy in many things, you have just moved away from yourself and you have not even realized it yet. Listen to yourself, your wants and desires, your values. Happiness is in you, it is in the people around you, it is in the things you do. As long as it all has some personal meaning and significance, you are on the right path.

WHEN WE RUN HAPPINESS, IT IS INDICATIBLY ESCAPING TO US. LET IT HAPPEN TO US, BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY IT WILL LAST LONGER.