In the title of this article, I paraphrased a statement attributed to Freud. I don't know who the author of this saying is, I'm not sure it's Freud, but it makes a lot of sense. In my opinion, idiots are too harsh a word, instead I would say - make sure that you are not surrounded by people who treat you badly and do not respect you.
Many times I have heard or read that someone says, "The more we radiate, the more we attract."
I do not think so.The idea that "as we radiate so we attract" is not entirely in line with reality. By that logic, if someone is bad towards us, it is because we "radiate bad", we think negatively or something like that.
Let me tell you something that happened some time ago. A group of passengers, including me, were getting off public transport. An unknown woman was trying to break through between the passengers who were coming out. I politely told her to wait for us to ride first and only then enter.
She glared at me angrily and said,
"You're fat."
I laughed. What has my obesity got to do with her eagerness to get on the bus. And why should “fat” offend me?
For the past couple of years, I've been gaining weight, but it's not a shame, I'm not ashamed of myself and my problem. I work on it the best I know and can.
I still haven't lost the extra kilos, but I did something much worse. I got rid of the bad habit of caring about the opinions of people who are not important to me.
How responsible are we actually for ourselves and our happiness?
Much of the responsibility is on us. But it is not complete. At least not when we talk about relationships with people. We cannot be 100% responsible here, because not everything depends on us. It also depends on the other person. We are responsible for what we say (or don’t say), for what we do (or don’t do). But we are not responsible for how others will understand it. And we are not responsible, at least not entirely, for how others treat us.
Many think that if someone behaves badly towards us, it is because we do not love ourselves enough, or our thoughts are not positive enough. Some bad behaviors have nothing to do with us, we did not "attract them with our thoughts". When someone treats us badly, it is normal for us to feel bad. It is a signal that we need to do something, that we are not satisfied with something and that something does not suit us. Whether we will tolerate them and how we will interpret and accept them is our responsibility.
Someone is behaving badly towards me - I am bad / guilty / not good enough. No, someone is behaving badly.
Point.
The question is how to protect yourself.
If people often treat you badly, it may be because you have not set clear and firm boundaries.
One documentary about psychopaths left a strong impression on me. There was talk about how the attackers judge by the body language who will not defend themselves and attack him.
That makes sense. People, consciously or unconsciously, estimate when and what can pass, and when and how far it can go.
When someone "radiates" a non-verbal message - it is okay to treat me badly and with disrespect, there is a high probability that someone, consciously or unconsciously (it doesn't matter), will abuse it.
The cure in that case is to reconsider and change beliefs.
No one has the right to treat me badly.
No one has the right to be bad to me.
No one has the right to be rude to me.
No one has the right to say ugly words to me.
No one has the right to hit me.
And period.
nemam sta da proveravam, definitivno sam okruzen idiotima, samo mi je neko vreme trebalo da to shvatim, ali ko sto neko nekad rece, svasta raste u bozijoj basti