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Changing your lifestyle after a break-up is not easy. Especially if the break-up in the relationship has been a conflictual one. One or both parties involved suffer and are scarred with deep wounds that prevent them from moving towards a happy lifestyle. Towards a new beginning.
In a marital breakup, where the offence and unfair treatment with violent events predominate, we can only expect to find deep traces of suffering and pain. In such a break-up under these conditions, only a strong emotional charge of anger, hostility and rage dominates the couple, or at least one of them. This resentment towards the other person gradually grows and over time they are unable to forgive the offences and mistreatment. The resentment is motivated by a negative feeling that could not be resolved over time after the break-up. They feel betrayed, mistreated, for something they feel they did not deserve, that was unfair. If this resentment does not heal over time, it becomes a shell in the heart. It is like a snowball that grows over time and destroys everything in its path. And it prevents you from being happy.
That shell that we put on our hearts, that makes us distance ourselves from reality, from the pain we have suffered, prevents us from closing cycles, keeps us stuck in a past full of grudges, and gradually distances us from relationships that are important to us. It prevents us from starting a new stage in life. It consumes us with deep pain. They make us feel wounds that have not yet closed, causing deep pain that is difficult to manage. One of the consequences of not closing that cycle of resentment is that it prevents us from establishing new relationships in the future, because of the mistrust generated towards that fact in the marriage. This happens when resentment is not addressed and builds up over time. As time goes by, resentment increases, turning into a monster that devours the person, preventing him or her from forgetting, understanding or resolving the situation that has put him or her in this emotional state.
We must become aware that we cannot continue to be dominated by this emotional state. Resentment is an emotion, and that is why we must try to deal with it as just another emotion.
One way to deal with it is to express what we feel, identify what caused it, delimit the reason for the resentment, become aware of that fact and accept it, admit that we feel resentment towards that person and situations that caused us deep wounds. Only in this way can we regulate that emotion and see what part of it is ours to heal our hearts and apply the strategy of forgiveness.
Although at this stage we have a lot of inability to forgive and say goodbye to that emotion that hurts us.
The important thing is to stop focusing on the past. Accept the facts, discover that behind every situation in life there is a learning process and forgive. If you have not forgiven, you are immersed in resentment, suffering and pain. It is up to you to change things in a positive way.
Forgive to move forward. Of course, 100% true. When you decide to forgive you free yourself from the past. Forgiving others and forgiving yourself is liberating. It allows you to open up new opportunities in life, in your environment allowing you to create a better life.
It is all up to you, the choices you make will influence your life. Everything can flow and start the life you desire instead of living under the domination of that emotion that only gives you suffering. When you forgive in your heart, the armour that enslaves you is released. Your mind is freed, with clearer and more positive thoughts.
Do you feel a shell in your heart? Do you feel the need to close that stage of resentment that does not allow you to move forward?
Start forgiving and you will see the change in your life... forgiving doesn't hurt, forgiving liberates. This article is inspired from the depths of my thoughts, with the sole intention of supporting a wounded heart, which has not yet found the inner peace it needs to be happy. It is for an invisible friend, it can be for you. Ibiza, Spain.
Thank you for reading. I look forward to your comment. I will be attentive to your answer.