Many people have remained under a mental pattern that they are not going to change their life, in certain negative behaviors, which damage their interpersonal relationships. I especially hear this a lot with couples in conflict. They maintain their position of not changing, at least one of them says: "you knew me like this", have you heard it before?
Reflecting on this topic of mental patterns, I can tell you that those mental patterns save the brain time. Yes, time. Because daily tasks are a pattern of repeating behaviors, which are already encoded in the brain, like a computer program, and are performed without thinking, automatically. For example, getting up in the morning without thinking we go to the bathroom and brush our teeth, that simple fact is already programmed in your brain. You don't wake up asking: how do you brush your teeth? The brain already knows what to do.
But today we are going to talk about mental patterns that damage personal relationships and yet the person is reluctant to accept that they need to make a change.
When we live new experiences our brain acts in an effective way, if you have gone through a similar or repeated experience, the new sensory stimuli have where to share or compare. The brain continually compares the experiences we live with those of the past and present. Sometimes we are presented with something new and by having an idea of another similar experience, lived in the past, we perform the new task. And we are asked: How did you do it, and we answer: by logic! Or by instinct.
What we perceive is not outside our mind, nor outside our body. In other words, it is the brain that perceives through the senses, through stimuli. And as it perceives it, it compares it with what it has stored in its mind. There is a popular saying: every head is a world of its own. It is true, it is subjective. For that reason the same situation experienced by several people have different criteria of opinion, according to the individual perception of each person.
In this way, our mind responds to a given stimulus that we perceive, and its reaction will depend on the stimuli that we perceive and are stored in the mind, relating them to the recent past. And in many cases in stimuli that were perceived in childhood and are hidden in the depths of the subconscious.
Now, what happens when you have mental patterns with negative behaviors. People with autonomous and unconscious reactions, but with negative attitudes. Where they always start personal conflicts. If it is a memory that caused a trauma, this comes to the present in the form of fears, anxieties, giving rise to a family conflict or in relationships with other people.
Many of these mental patterns become emotional habits over time, such as: getting up every day in a bad mood, constant complaints about any situation, living thinking about the past, feeling that you are not a good person, mental labels that have left you from the past, playing the victim in any situation that has created conflict, even resisting change.
Let's change the way we live our lives. The pandemic is an example of change. Tremendous changes on an emotional level is the time we are living and that has left its mark on every human being worldwide. But the pandemic has also left us a lesson, we have changed our way of living life. This means that we can also change the mental patterns that have harmed us on a personal level.
There are no more excuses such as "you knew me like this, and I am not going to change".
The important thing is to be aware of the personal problem: do you constantly complain, are you always in a bad mood, do you resist change, has your way of perceiving certain circumstances caused you conflicts with your partner?
Modifying thought patterns is an activity that helps to improve emotional well-being, for mental health, for the benefit of you and your environment.
It is not easy to start modifying behavioral patterns, it requires a lot of will and commitment. But the fundamental step is to recognize that you need to change, to improve your emotional habits.
In the Bible we have a passage where God invites us to change our thinking. In Romans 12:2, "Don’t be like the people of this world, but let God change the way you think. Then you will know how to do everything that is good and pleasing to him", wonderful words that inspire and motivate us to begin to change in order to live better.
We are body, soul and spirit and they are deeply connected. It means that in the spiritual part of the connection with God, it is available to ask to change our way of thinking, through prayer.
So an excellent program of modification of mental patterns, we have to add as a first step to ask in prayer that change of life to live better.
The other steps would be those of a behavior modification program, where your daily commitment and perseverance are fundamentals.
I invite you to change our way of living life.
Grateful to God for all of you, my sponsors, and readers who follow me in this wonderful community, you are the best.
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It's really tough to change old habits and personalities. But for the sake of the happiness of the family, I think everyone should strive to be a better and bigger person and be open to changes. A very insightful read, my friend.