Under the Surface: Who are you?

We all have skeletons in our closets. We hide something behind our smiles. We have pressures suppressed under the surface. We have voices buried deep in the void inside ourselves. We have taints and inks either removed or sulked here in our skins. We all hide something, even someone.
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When we can no longer take those difficult circumstances, instead of letting out the heaviness that we feel, we push it back deep down within ourselves. Because in our minds, the urge to shout and scream is lesser than the consequences we might get when we express our feelings. We were scared to be misinterpreted. We were scared to be misunderstood. We were scared to be judged. We fear losing people if they will witness an unusual rage. We are afraid they cannot accept us, aren't we? We were afraid of what others might say, but have you looked at yourself as well? Did you fear losing yourself with the habit of burying things down, or were you busy fearing what others might think of you?
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We are more fragile when we are imprisoned. Having unsaid doubts, fear, thoughts, and anger inside ourselves are like a wide hole of the wound being bandaged only with paper napkins. It is like an awakening volcano that will burst dangerously any minute. Like pressure that is ready to blow till we just go pop. Like a wild animal caged and wanting to go out. It weakens our system. What we hide consumes the worst of us:
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1. Demons live within us.
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   Lucifer was once an angel. Angel gets mad sometimes, don't they? What if our inner demons were once kind thoughts that gone mad? No one wanted to be shut. No one deserved discrimination. However, everyone else tests each other's limits, I bet you will be mad when you were being joked around but the joke stabbed you countless times already. I bet you cried inside but showed them your unaffected laugh. I bet you were aching to be found and to be validated. But as circumstances have gone worsened, and the bad habits continued, your feelings as well evolved. Inner demons are sometimes the product of rage we failed to express.
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2. Hot, hot, hot pressures.
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   When we live with expectations, we get more numb. We can climb even the highest peak just to not fail those people who expect the best from us. We can dare to face the unbelievable challenges they set to make them proud. We even set ourselves at least in our priorities, as long as we prioritize them to make them happy for us. But the human limits say it all, we are made to break and bend especially if we haven't made a strong foundation with ourselves. Who would not break with the constant pressure of expectations put off?
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3. Skeletons
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   Whose skeletons you have in your closet? Rest in peace to our dreams and personas who died fighting this hellish life. It is okay to give up when you cannot take it any longer. Who am I to dictate to you what to do when we have our own emotional level? We all get tired and we enter different phases. We differ with the lives we are living and the death we will have. Those skeletons were full of tragic memories buried and lost to oblivion. The only hope they have is your memories, but it is you if you will remove it too. Tell me, does your skeleton wear an astronaut suit? Do your skeleton bones look like a canvas full of paint? Does your skeleton have soft bones? Because my skeleton wore a halo, it had hope plastered in her skull; it wore a lab gown and had a stethoscope. Anyhow, she died anyway, buried again deep within me. No one knows someone died, but everyone killed it.
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Life is ironic and metaphoric
Life is a figure of speech I tried to convey with hiding.
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Under the surface was everything no one can read except you. You ached in there, you bled there. Tip, tip, tip, tick, tick, tick... will it be a mess if you will let that sob out? Or will it be your freedom to let everyone know that you still exist and live?

Renésmee Neverfound ㅤ

An aspirant writer and artist. To be found is my greatest dream and never be lost. Hi, I am @rene.neverfound, you can call me Rene or Esme if you like. I specialized in prose-poetry and poetry, and now I am trying new things and writing styles. I love learning! I am a 17-year-old girl living life in the Philippines. And my face-claim here is @gabi_wahl on ig. I am a total bookworm and a grade 11 student with an undying passion for writing and art. Having many dreams is a funny mess because I get confused most of time with regard to what course should I take in college. I want to be an astrologist, a doctor, a journalist, an author, a professional artist, an archaeologist, and many more I forgot to remember while writing this.
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