No resolution, no evaluation!

Two days and it will be 2022 on the calendar. I'm still in the phase of not realizing this is the end of the year!

I was planning to share some past year evaluations and new year resolution types of posts. But see, how lazy I'm? In the blink of eyes, the year is ending. I almost forgot that only two days left and we will get to see the New Year celebration.

Celebration? Is there any reason for it? My mind asked me? I was feeling like sh*t for a few days. So the new year is not feeling like anything to celebrate about. But my second thought was, how can I be so ungrateful? There are so many things to feel blessed, right?

Yesterday I took a walk down the street around 9.00 PM. I didn't have anything special to do out there, was just catching some breath. When the crowd goes off, the street becomes empty, that's when I can feel the heartbeat of the city. Isn't weird how different I feel. Or maybe it's normal.

Anyway...

While steeping on the street the lightings and decorations catch my eyes. For a few good seconds, I was thinking Christmas is finished so why there are so many lightings. Maybe they forgot to take down the lights. Ah, my mind. Why it's full of chaotic thoughts and can't relate to reality many times?

New Year!

I'm not feeling like a New year is coming rather it feels like the year is ending too soon. Am I not an accomplisher this year? There's no certain answer to this. It's a maybe or 50/50. There were so many things I could do but I didn't catch up for many reasons. Next year is sure an opportunity but I can't get rid of the fact that a year got out of my hand or life if I say more precisely.

Am I giving too much negative vibe?

Maybe...

There are so many things to feel blessed about and so many others that make me feel sh*t. This is the life I know. And it's not like I feel to find a calculator to make sure what side I need to choose. I know, I need to focus on the good sides and the good side only. I was saying this to myself and I would keep saying this until everything seems fine and I make myself proceed such ways.*

I wish this next year will be more fulfilling for me, for you, and for everyone.