Letting our kids to 'Be' is the best thing we can do.
When I and my son do something together like making lego houses or when he studies; I secretly want him to act, think and behave like me.
My son is not the reflection of me and he never will be. Understanding and accepting this is a big thing and I'm still processing it.
It looks very cute when our kids copy us, we feel proud when they behave like us. And when they take the path we took while growing up, most of us feel great about it. It's okay if they do so. But forcing them to be us is not a big NO for me.
My son is short-tempered, can't accept what makes him uncomfortable, will complain or talk back if he thinks something is wrong. So disciplining him is quite tough. I sometimes think about why he is not like me or his dad. And in a second I remind myself, he is a separate human, his thought process, likes and dislikes, understanding is far different from us and it's okay.
Like I always say, all the siblings are not the same even they come out from the same belly or even they are twins. So why another human, no matter if they are our kids will be like us?
Understand your kid's personality.
This is the best we can do to let them be who they are. I always believe trying to shape them in our way will make extra pressure and they will lose their identity. For sure they will be less confident about them. It's better to let them express themselves by understanding their personality.
Listen to your kids and encourage them.
This is what usually we do wrong, we teach them they are doing things wrong when they go against us. But their way can also be a right way, better than us. Listening to them is also a learning for us parents.
My suggestions would make me look like I'm an expert in parenting. But I'm not. I'm an enthusiast parent who is still learning and correcting herself. As I have said, I sometimes also secretly want to see my son as a reflection of me. I'm teaching myself to not look for the same things in him.
That is why accepting that they will not be us is the biggest thing. Discipline them but never force them to be you. Our kids need us, they are part of us but they will never be us just like we can never be them. We all are different, need our own space to grow.
Let them grow, let them be who they are inside, let them be confident about themselves.
I agree to you my friend. Discipline children is really important to them because it will serve as a key to guide them in the good path. It should always be in the middle. The other issue is don't force our children to be like us.
You will give them a pressure. It makes them hopeless and demotivated on that reason instead let them be if you clearly see it that there's something wrong with it. Just support them whatever they want. They have a right also to decide with their own life.