If we don't find acceptance in our own Family...
Podcasts became so popular, maybe a listener like me is one of the reasons! Jokes apart...
I'm talking about podcasts because it seems like a topic to talk about. I was listening to an abuse survivor on a podcast. So while she was saying about how she searched for love, acceptance, and approval here and there, finally found it and she went away with her boyfriend. That's a long story of her life, full of sorrow but now she is doing fine.
While listening to her narratives, one thing caught came my notice. I find this thinking pattern similar in people who were abused. Probably because it's a fact.
If we don't find acceptance in our own family, we try to find it outside.
Social acceptance and approval start in the family. We all have the right to feel loved and get support from our immediate family members. No matter if a kid seems completely spoiled, wrong, and a brat; they also need the same. As a parent now I can feel it more. Because when I look back I can see what was wrong with my own brought up.
We as a parent always prioritize how 'we' want to 'build' our child. That's the bitter truth and core of this problem. I know there are kids who are already out of hands. But you know what, they were not like this from the very first day. And not giving them any appearance, love, or support only can make the situation worse; nothing else.
I have seen parents wonder, why their kids are like that. Why do they do multiple affairs, hide things from them, and do the wrong things? I believe it's not tough to figure out what makes them so. Kids search for acceptance and if they don't find it in their own circle; they will definitely look around for it. It's not a choice for them, it's like an automatic force.
Moreover, kids and even teenagers don't have the ability to figure out what they are doing wrong and what needs to be done in the right way. They will always think, they are doing everything correctly.
My son is growing up and will be a teen someday. I always say this to myself, "I need to assure his acceptance, I need to create a secure environment so he can know he is loved and will get support."
Long way to go as a parent, huge to learn...
I believe that learning never ends.. people grow with guidance and that is how learning is shaped. We all learnt what almost everything we know now by a process of passing down from our parents or guardian. What we know is what we would pass down to our children