Saying myself, "don't show your anger, choose words wisely, be a good mom."
But I side I'm falling apart...
This is the everyday life story of a mom, of me. Some days are so hard, I feel like I can't do it anymore. Some days are smooth. If you have any experience with a grown-up, you can understand what I'm saying.
The worse feeling is, draining out. It feels like I'm passing all the energy to my son and emptying myself inside. I know that things could be better, I could have done parenting differently. But this is what I could do. I don't know if this is what every mother feels. As I know, this feeling is normal.
My son, watering the flower plants.
Kid's imagination!A real conversation with him-
Red color?
Why do you need the red color that I can't find anywhere?
No, only red color.
Try doing it with orange or the color you like, I will find it later.
No.
Let's search it together then.
No, you go find it.
I can't see it anywhere.
I need my red color.
Okay then find it yourself.
And then...
A full season of tantrums!
I know you may already feel exhausted reading the conversation. Think about the mom who has to do this conversation five to six times a day, with different scenarios, and has to control her emotions positively.
Ah, this struggle!
I know things will change and I will face different challenges. And maybe every time it will feel like I can't do it anymore, I need a break.
For the past few days, I don't know why, maybe my hormones or sleeplessness, I'm getting anxious quite easily. Trying my best to handle every situation correctly but I'm filling. I have shouted at my little one several times these days. It's making things harder for both of us.
Maybe I need a break, not from motherhood but a small refreshment probably.
I never wanted to be a perfect mom. I know I never can and there's no way to be perfect. I accept my flaws. But there's a continuous pressure I feel to give my 100%. It drains me out.
Maybe I need to step back from this a little and let things go just the way it is.
If you are a mom, wannabe, someone you know is a mom; be a little nicer to them. They are probably going through the same.
Lol. I understand how it really feels trust me. Once, my little nephew asked me to spell the word " egg". I slept it as " E- double G". He declared that I dont know how to spell, that its suppose to be " E-G-G". I tried to explain to her that it was the same thing but she was not having any of it. She went telling everyone that big sis don't know how to spell 😢 By the way, am new here. It a pleasure meeting you ☺