Toxic Positivity

I want to write about Toxic Positivity today. I saw people tossing around a lot of memes and graphics about it.

So I thought we just should talk about it, because if you don't know what I mean by toxic positivity, people just concentrate on what you have, then if you don't know what I mean by toxic positivity, people just focus about what you have, then there are people that have a far worse kind of mantras.

And they say that we are invalidating their perspective and not making space for painful feelings or hurtful situations by asking them to either be happy or to look on the bright side.

And I want to say I totally agree with the word toxic positivity, but the fact is, it's a lot more dynamic than that.

I think there is a time and place to push a positive thought or, at least, to hold back a pessimistic one. This will discourage us from sharing with someone we do not know too well or from weeping at work or even in a public place that may be less than ideal.

We can even find ourselves ruminating on the horrible things that are happening, concentrating only on how miserable we are, how terrible the future is, and that it is going to end anyway, so why even try?

Hello, anxiety, or OCD, or depression, or a bunch of other mental disorders. Thus, activities such as avoiding worrying, distracting, and finding facts to promote a more optimistic mindset are both incredible resources and strategies to be found in life.

It will help to drag us out of a dark pit and help us to see that maybe things can get easier and that life is worth living. Therefore, I have to argue that imposed optimistic feelings have a role in life, and it can be, well, nice to have others remind us of the good in our lives.

But other than that, I do believe that negative positivity can be forced back, leaving room for us to feel how we need to feel. No one needs to open up something terrible to a mate that happened only to hear them remind us we have so many more things to be thankful for.

Not to mention that enduring a trauma will lead one to feel like we've caused the wrong thing to happen. Hello, guilt, or, maybe, because of our repressed memories, we may be worried that we made up the entire thing.

So it can be devastating to hear somebody tell us to look at the bright side, get beyond it, because you've got so much going for you until we speak up about things like that.

Mostly, they search for sympathy, empathy and acceptance as someone opens up to us. Forcing optimistic thoughts or convictions does not leave room for all of that, and the trauma we can still have may compound it.

That's what I want you to hear. They're all right. And sure, when it comes to what we want to spend our attention on, we do have a choice, but that doesn't mean we can't prepare for some downtime.

We should leave time to cry, to be furious, to show how angry we are over what's going on, and that's why I really inspire people to write journals. And though I know, I still talk about making it a journal of thanks, and it might be seen as unhealthy positivity to come up with certain stuff you're thankful for each day.

I might say that not having any of our thoughts to be sensed and remembered is almost as poisonous. It's all right to talk about what hurts, stuff that hurt you, and how depressed you are, but it's also all right to write about what you're happy for, what you're looking forward to, and what you're working towards.

Every feeling and thing is all right. For all of this, we only need to build time and space, not just one hand or the other. If we don't find things all right to have all the emotions, we're just going from one side to the other, and I don't know why, but people enjoy the black and white mindset of anything or none.

It's like the state of mind we are hooked to. I wonder about diets like that and all the way people talk about things. We really want more or none of this. I'm out, I'm in. I do this, I don't do that. I am sick of this.

But instead of just assuming about something good is toxic and that having others to find everything on the bright side is not okay, here are few things I just want you to think about first.

No. 1

Have they raised the same anger over and over again, but don't seem to want a solution?

Perhaps that's an indication they really want to vent, and all you can do is listen or persuade them to find some clinical assistance. Ruminating and venting just doesn't help, and we may be able to try more positivity, but they might not be open to it.

No. 2

Is this their first time opening up like this?

If so, you probably just need to listen. Validate how they feel and ask if they are asking for advice or only looking for help. Let it direct them. Don't think anything is known to you.

No. 3

Are you uncomfortable with any emotional gestures or maybe just the ones you find are unpleasant, such as frustration or sadness?

Lastly

Do you worry that you don't know what to say if you don't try to get them to focus on the positive?

Scrambling about what to come up with, are you? And I know that these issues are only a start, but I think we'd all benefit from first contemplating these things.

Can we seem to want any conversation to be moved towards a more constructive place? Hmm. Hmm. Are we uncomfortable with frustration? And I'm not suggesting we're going to wallow or ever think grim, pessimistic things, but we're supposed to be free to experience how we feel and realize there's no judgement about that.

And our brain is designed to check out a threat just to give more science to back up why we already feel drawn into the bad stuff.

It's continuously looking for some hint in our world that it wants to train us for battle and flight. Good feelings and wonderful things that happen do not harm us, but they are pessimistic.

And our brain will continue to think on it, so it will determine whether we need to be prepared to get the heck out of there. But if it's just a feeling, well, then we tend to ruminate, dream about it in a zillion different ways and get nowhere, and that's why so many people are asking others to think more positively about it.

It's very complicated, and sometimes we don't do it. And if you think about it, what keeps us alive is the very fact that our brain is watching our world for threats. So it's a pretty cool thing, but sometimes it can be a little bit negative as well.

Overall, be conscientious about how you communicate with people, strive to consider it from their viewpoint, and actually asking if they want you to listen or support them will go a long way if you're concerned about what to say or do.

Instead of thinking that you already know what is right, let them tell you what they need. I hope that you've found it useful. Recently, I've read so much about toxic positivity, and I felt it was worth a more in-depth discussion, but I'd like to hear from you.

What do you think about it?

Do you think we've gone out of control with our think positive attitude or not?

That’s it for today and thank you for reading - Have a nice day

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