It was May 31st, six years ago that we became partners again.
You're maybe confused. Okay, I'm going to tell you the story of how I met my partner in life.
It was April of 2011 when I landed a teaching job in an exclusive all-girls school in the Metro. The principal said we will have our orientation starting on May 23, 2011. We were a huge group. I think we were 31 in total in the unit. I sat there quietly, just smiling at my "batchmates". I didn't notice him that time because he was silent. I was silent, too. He was the new Art teacher, I am the new Biology teacher. Mind you, I was always fascinated with visual artists, maybe because this is something that I am frustrated to not have. So, I asked him and showed him a portrait of mine commissioned to a friend, and he just smiled and said something about the shadows, etc. I DID NOT UNDERSTAND A BIT. Lol
Then, we continued attending the orientation until we were officially endorsed as new teachers to the faculty on June 1, 2011.
During the first year of teaching, we just exchanged our hi's and hello's. My faculty room is separated from his. Our other batchmates built a closer relationship with each other, I actually separated myself from them because I was too shy to join that they've already built a relationship with one another.
At the end of our in-service training, we will have our annual faculty outing. It was May 26, 2012. We went to Ocean Adventure, I was with my teammates, he was with his. Before we go back to Manila, we were allowed to go to Duty-Free.. and as I was roaming around, we bumped into each other. There, I got the chance to talk to him and send my condolences (I've known that he lost his grandfather on the 25th, which was coincidentally my birthday.). Then, we looked for things to buy, he asked me if it's okay for him to buy a can of biscuits for the wake of his Lolo, I told him, it's okay, I can accompany him. I was looking for peanut butter and then he told me, he'll just give me a peanut butter that's rich and creamier than the ones sold in supermarkets, we talked and I think we just clicked.
From that day on, I had a happy crush - it was him.
We went back to school in June and he fulfilled his promise, he gave me the peanut butter that he was telling me about. It was true! It was creamy and super delicious!
Here, I thought... Oh wait, I think I'm liking him more. But of course, I didn't just jump to the conclusion that he likes me back. Maybe he is just being a super nice friend, so I kept it that way. I see him being nice to our other batchmates too, so, I should never assume or something like that.
We were first-time homeroom teachers during that time. We shared tips and things with each other. I even got to join him in a mural painting in one of the children's hospitals in the metro. Oh man, he's such a good artist, and super humble at that. I silently admired him more from the corners.
So we went on like this for a couple of months... I was already feeling that there is something special going on between us, as we were open to one of our colleagues about our admiration for each other. Our colleague didn't exactly say that there is something, but I knew it, I think it was intuition. But still, I kept quiet. There was one time when we were in the cab and he just uttered something about me being a special part of him, but, it was all vague, and I think we are not yet ready to pour out our feelings with each other.
Then, I joined him in another mural painting session in November of 2012. This time, it was just the two of us. We enjoyed each other's company, we ate on the roadside where we painted a designated wall for us. I helped him paint a Philippine native tree species as shown in the picture below.
During this time, I know that we have something special, but there's no label. We are friendly towards each other, eating together most of the time, but still, I am convinced that there's nothing going on between us. Because of our closeness, I was able to get to know him better, his likes, his life, his family, his struggles, his dreams, etc. I was able to know that he hadn't, in his whole life had a cake for his birthday. So, I arranged it to happen, come December 24, 2012.
Our Christmas vacation started on the week of December 17, but I stayed until the 24th in Metro Manila to have a "date" with my future partner. So, we met at a mall and we celebrated his birthday. I asked him to come to my house because my gift is there. So, we went there, and then, to his surprise, it was a lego cake!
This cake symbolizes everything that he loves- legos, Astroboy (that kinda looks just like him), and of course, his first-ever birthday cake. We did not eat the cake because I asked him to go home and bring the cake so he can celebrate with his family, I went home to my family as well to spend Christmas with them. He said, this was his most memorable birthday to date. I was so glad that my efforts had paid off. :)
It was a new year, and we were good. We are still friends despite the Birthday/Christmas date that we had. Then, it was January 19th, a Saturday, I had to come to school to attend a seminar by Francis Kong. The seminar was so nice, I remembered he shared that "Love is an action word." I was inspired. In the afternoon, he was there, too. He has to accompany some of his students to a contest in one school. When he came, we decided to eat in a nearby restaurant together with two friends who are a couple. After we ate to our heart's content, we went to a milkshake house and ordered a sumptuous milkshake. Haha. I was so full! I think, he was, too. It's time to go home and we decided to ride a jeepney together and go to the UP's football field. There, we stayed for a while... and there, he started confessing that he loves me already. I was stunned, but I also feel the same way. But I kept quiet, I. can't think of the right words to say. He said, he is not expecting that I get to answer him right away... but well, I did. I said yes because I really feel the same way.
We were new to this relationship thing, and we had a few differences in how we look at it. I get to have food on my table during breakfast, something that he prepared, and I get to give him food during lunch. Unfortunately, after two months, there came some miscommunication and misunderstanding.
We had to break apart from each other.
It was April 2013. We were on a nice island in Camarines Norte when this breakup happened. It was supposed to be 3 days of bliss and getting together and building memories with each other, but what we had there is just a painful memory. I was not ready, I was stunned, I was shocked. I cried tons, I drank a lot. Was I not worthy enough? Was I just some girl who to be taken for granted?
But being me, I know I had to be the bigger person. I understand why he had to cut off our blooming relationship. Cliche as it may sound, but it was really not me. It was the timing, it was the expectations, it was some responsibilities that he's too pressured to handle.
The next couple of months were painful. I still feel hurt, I wanted to go away and resign, I can't see the one who broke my heart on a daily basis, but I realized why would I do that? I did not do anything wrong, and I can overcome... or so I thought.
During those times, we remained friends. I was there for him, he was there for me, too. We were happy. Actually, we have come to know each other more during those years of just being friends. We had some ups and downs as friends, too... but we still continued being each other's confidante, we still supported each other. I know I still have feelings for him, I know deep in my heart, that he still has feelings for me. But he said, he wants what's best for me, and he has to let me go because he is not deserving of the love that I'm giving.
December 2014. I cut my hair short, pixie-cut. I did this because I want to move on, and be free from him. I wanted to soar my wings and be happy and meet new people that would love me and accept me for who I am. I thought that I should not give my full attention to someone who can't be with me and love me more than a friend. I have to do this to help myself. So, I sent him a message and told him that I have to distance myself from him because I have to help myself move on. He didn't say a word, but he respected my decision.
There were crying days after, but I stood my ground. However, when he went to Singapore, I was dumbfounded. I miss his presence. When he came back, he gave me a special gift, one that is different from what he gave to all the others. I felt special. We talked over coffee and just said that we should remain friends, no more, no less. (I have heard him say that he loves me several times before this coffee event, btw so it was confusing for me.) Yet, I knew that he can never give his full self due to his responsibility at home. He can't juggle having a relationship while he has to lead his household. I accepted his fate, and because of this, I admired him more.
April 2015. I was in constant communication with him before this happened, we actually had set an "EK Date" with some of our friends. It turned out that it was just 4 of us. I was the only girl, with me are three boys. We were inseparable, riding the Flying Fiesta where he held hands, screaming our hearts out in the Space Shuttle, being together in the 360-degree turn (I forgot the name of the ride.) - it was so much fun! I enjoyed it, I realized I miss him so much.
But an unfortunate event happened, he lost his grandma. We were in constant communication during this time, and I arrange for our friends to visit their house and show support to his family during his grandma's wake. I hugged him and gave my condolences. I also went to the funeral of his grandma, his family told me to guide him as we walk towards his grandma's grave. I knew he was hurt, it was painful, and I remained there as a friend to him. His mother invited me to their grandma's 9th day. So, I agreed and went with them to a family outing. It was clear to me though that inviting me was only a friendly gesture. After the event, his mom talked to me and invited me again to their home on his grandma's 40th day.
May 25, 2015 - It was my 26th birthday. When I went to school, I saw a letter and a bouquet of flowers on my table. It was from him thanking me for the goodness and impact that I had made in his life. He thanked me for the lessons that I were able to impart to him and I was able to make him realize. I was happy and flattered by his gesture.
Remember when his mom told me to go visit them on his grandma's 40th? It was May 31, 2015, and so I went.
I will never forget this date because it was the day that he finally introduced me to his family as his partner in life. Wait, what? How did it happen? Did we talk about this? Are you sure of what you're saying? Well, I was in total shock.
After his introduction, we talked, I asked him if he was serious, and he said, yes, and explained to me that his love for me was and is always there. The two years of being apart - he didn't consider a breakup, but rather, growing up. I think it was my happiest day ever!
Now, it's 6 years later after that very important event of my life. I am still with him, he's still with me. We had withstood a lot of challenges, we had become more understanding with one another, we had learned to compromise and compensate to the best of our abilities. We are not perfect, but we chose to stay, for good.
Happy 5.31, my Dear! You are worth it. I love you.
