Miss

One minute, two minutes, three minutes, up to two hours the WhatsApp messages I sent haven't changed. There are still two gray ticks, even though it is clear that Nia is online. Frustrated. I lost my mind, about how to treat this longing. I want to swipe the phone image in the top left corner. However ...

"Don't call me, before I call you. Whatever happens," said Nia at the beginning of our relationship. It was a message that became an unwritten agreement between me and Nia. If I violate it, it will endanger it, especially for the continuity of our relationship.

Surrender to feelings of restlessness. Waiting indefinitely. Holding back the longing until the opportunity allows us to meet even though we are online. Almost every opportunity I continue to monitor Nia's contacts. When is she online? When was the last time he opened WhatsApp? Every time she's seen online, my fingers itch to text her. But this brain forbids, remembering the message in another unwritten agreement.

"Even though I'm online, if I don't call you first, don't chat, what's more, miss call."

Again, I'm powerless with this rule. One thing that must be accepted forcefully and there is no appeal with the agreement made. Because it's not his will nor mine but an intolerable condition. A heavy consequence is that I have to live for the sake of love.

The cold air on Friday morning was torturing my body and mind. The longing that is not cured and the bad thoughts that are often present destroy patience. Maybe now Nia is busy with that man. Damn that prejudice made my chest rumble with anger. How come? I'm here missing her half-crazy but there Nia. Oh, I can't imagine.

But when that thought was gone. Other thoughts are no less pathetic even though they often present a smile in a little pleasure. When I imagine Nia's face, my brain's nerves move to evoke all the pulses in my body. Imagining about a sweet smile, and Nia's warm body in my arms. Oh, I miss her. If only she was here, I would make her unable to forget how I love him.

I want to jump when the phone in my hand vibrates. An incoming video call. I can see Nia's smiling face on the screen with the name of the contact written below the photo, My Women. I quickly swiped the video image up and the call was connected.

"Hi." Greet Nia with her melodious voice. She looks very beautiful and fresh with her choice of ping lipstick color.

"Honey, I miss you," I replied, looking at her on the cellphone screen. There was an erratic thrill seeing Nia untangling her still wet hair. See the seepage of water at the ends of her hair that dangled in front of her chest. Sexy.

"Have you showered this early?" I asked probing.

"Ah, yes," she answered simply with a blush on her cheeks. Pain as if there were thousands of needles piercing the heart. Remembering that it was Friday morning and that was the reason why she had showered so early this morning. I miss her. Thinking about it half crazy, but instead, she fell asleep in the arms of the man she called true love. She still blushed when asked about his past time last night.

"Honey, you can't be jealous. He has my body, but my heart is yours," said Nia. Maybe she saw how my face changed. Jealousy must be because I love her. However, that feeling was forbidden and I had to be willing when Nia's body was kissed by her husband. However, the pain was still there. Until I turned off the phone, then hit the dresser with emotion.

"What's so good about having a crush on someone's wife. Thinking about it, missing it, ah, it's nice to be kissed by a man," sneered the reflection in the mirror. Making fun of my stupidity.

The End

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