Dark Note
So, am I wrong if in the end I become a wild person and need an outlet for all stressful and suffering situations? Almost every day I was at war with the desire to make a rebellion against circumstances, and it was very painful for my soul. I rely on all my complaints and my burdens on hopes and prayers that often fade when the light of dawn comes. It's all too unreasonable to me. I felt like I was walking on a thin sheet of glass that could crack and shatter at any moment until it finally hurt me.
My life is nothing more than what is called a tragedy. I have no power, except to justify all the darkness and gloomy times they have built to suppress my aspirations for the future. There is nothing else that I can make a grip on, even if I can't wrap my mind with positive and happy things. What they said was like an absolute truth that I had to use as a guide to move forward. Does this mean I'm not worth more than a babu who has to obey the master's orders? Nothing more than a weakling, who lived his whole life in fear?
In the end, all that pressure and coercion left scars that only I felt myself. No one cares, no one wants to understand. If there were one or two people present and acting as if they were wise people, they would end up acting the same way in the end. In the end, they will defend the opinions and views of others, until, in the end, it will only worsen the scabs from the previously rotting wounds. What can be said about the story of my life? I never want history to record and ensnare my name in red ink as a failure. I will forever bear the heavy burden of the things they have all done to me. I will carry this pain, for the rest of my life.
Sometimes when I just opened my eyes, I felt a state where it felt like someone was standing strangling my neck. He savagely plunged my head into a puddle of mud. Someone kept pushing and pressing my head, I struggled and wished I could continue to breathe. But I failed! I was under so much pressure that in the end, I had to write all these stories. Every day, every time I try to push myself harder and harder to get out of all the pressure. Not to complain and hope for help. I tried to keep my mind sane so as not to get lost in nothingness.
Sometimes my emotions are like the overflowing lava in the cauldron of a bubbling volcano, ready to erupt with its booming voice. I always feel alone here. There's no safe place for me to put my feet on the ground, no place where I can be comfortable. Even the house that was supposed to be heaven for me was like hell that locked me up with its eternal torment. My heart is like a sheet of thin wallpaper that is easily torn and torn here and there. Norms that are not clear the truth that makes me like a prisoner of war, who must receive punishment every day. They raped my soul. They took away my innocence and destroyed my world.
Not in the least, they let me fly freely and do what I like. They laugh at me when I sink into despair, while I? I was panting and struggling alone to keep my breath! I tried so hard to keep my heart beating. I just want to get freedom for the happiness that I crave. No more nights and scary dreams. I only want one thing, 'Happy!'.
In the end, I grew up to be a grown man with many gaping holes in my body. And you know, the scars of the gaping hole still bleed every time there is the slightest incident that brings tears to my eyes. I grew into a person who did not realize that all this time I had lived in a wilderness full of cruel figures, ready to pounce at any moment I was careless.
I used to have every day instilling hope in myself, “One day it won't feel like this. One day it won't hurt so much. One day these memories won't make you cry so hard. One day, you will find your happiness again.” It's all a lie now. Bullshit! I won't let them steal my vote again. I have a story to tell. I have a song to sing. And I swear with all that is in me, one day it will no longer destroy me. I know that this battle is scary, but I will win this war and come out laughing with satisfaction.
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