From the beginning, I am a self mother because my husband died when I was pregnant. I did not have a choice, only I could do is to accept that situation and keep going.
I am sure that every woman is confused when became a mother for the first time. We need some time to realize what happened to us, and what is waiting for us. Total madness and immeasurable happiness at the same time.
Day by day, I started to realize that:
I will have new obligations
I will do everything alone, or with little help from my mother
I will always be sleepless
I will be lonely
I will not have a social life
In the first days, of course, and after, the most important thing was is to breastfeeding my baby. It was only important that my baby is fed and clean.
I admit it was very hard, but at the end of the day, when the baby fell asleep I was satisfied and proud
My son never lived with a father, so he considered that our family is normal. Because of the hard financial situation, I came back to my job earlier. He started to go to kindergarten when he had one year. Later, he will see other kids have moms and dads. And, one day he asked me where is his father. I told him that we are family, there are different families, with one parent, with two parents. I said: "I am and mother and father at the same time". And he accepted that.
We had many situations when was hard to explain to the kid`s brain why is that so, why he has an only mom, why not have both parents, like other kids.
Now, I am looking at him, he is 8-years old boy. He is a healthy, good-looking boy, everybody likes them. He is nicely brought up and clever, successful in school. That is my success, too. That is my little victory, I hope it will be good and further.
There are a few good things that came out of this situation:
I became stronger in every way
I finally find out what pure love is
I discovered that I can do so much more than I thought
I pushed my boundaries
So, every day I thank God for giving me such a good child and for putting me in this situation, to be 200% responsible for my child. Because I learned how strong can be and how to fight for my little family.