“Out of sight out of mind” I think this quote means a lot. When you aren’t around people daily they tend to forget or care to ask how someone is doing, and I mean how they are REALLY doing. Mental health is so important and I don’t think I ever realized how important it was until this past month.

I live away from all of my family and have only lived here a few short months, I have no friends in the area. I’m a mom of 3 and currently pregnant. Being a mom consumes my life, I’m blessed enough to be a stay at home mom thanks to my hubs. But when your only interaction every single day is with a baby and two children, it eventually gets to you. Everything eventually gets to you. In my life I think I have a total of 2 people who check on me and make sure I’m still surviving. 2 people. But boy am I grateful for those two people.

I’m not the cleanest person you’ll ever meet and my house doesn’t pass some people’s “standards” and I really don’t care. But, I finally noticed. I noticed how much I wasn’t doing these last few weeks... letting the dishes pile up like I never have before. Avoiding laundry as best as I can. Not showering as often as I should. Letting myself and my home go. Why? I can’t really answer that.

I look at my kids and wonder how I can feel this way whenever I have them - I’m even more lucky to be able to not work and be with them 24/7, I feel so guilty. I let all the things around me consume and bring to this new low I’ve never known before. The stresses of the world like money, family, friends, responsibilities, promises and countless others. I’ve been letting all those things win.

Once I noticed how much I hadn’t been doing then the guilt really set in. I kept thinking and still do, my kids deserve better than what I’ve been. I have been failing them. Yes they have been eating, but good home cooked meals like normal. Yes they have clean clothes but only because I did it all in one day instead of the normal schedule. Yes they have a roof over their heads, but not the clean one they are used to. Yes they know I love them, but I haven’t been giving my all to them and that is what hurts us moms the most is not being good enough and constantly wondering, am I failing at this?

Check on your mom friends, please! Check on all your friends and family, it’s so important.

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@pia7 posted 4 years ago

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