I wish that I'm from another family

It was all started back then when I found out the true behind my life. It was all a lie that makes me feel like I'm just a thing that they need to give to others when they cant handle to treasure it. And after 17 years, they just take me back into their life as if there was no damage on me. I have no choice I have to accept the reality and move on but I can't.

I feel like I don't have any worth, I feel like they dont understand me, I don't have this bond on my family that will make me feel that my feelings are invalid. For them, it was just a drama thing but they cant understand how I feel. Sometimes I have the thought to end my life just to have a peaceful mind but I can't. I just want to have someone who can understand me.