The concept of 'so bad it's funny is far from new. It was with such a hope in mind that I set about reviewing this licensed, brainless blast-’em-up. Having emerged at the end of the ordeal angry, scarred, and more than a little nauseous, I can't even award it that dubious accolade.
Despite appearances, this is not the kind of traditional FPS you know and perhaps love. It's an on-rails shooter in which your actions are restricted to firing off bullets or grenades and ducking behind (often entirely ineffectual) cover. Think Time Crisis, minus the satisfying clunk of the pedal and the fact that no self-respecting arcade owner would ever put this in a cabinet.
The game encompasses action from the first three Rambo movies, although you'd have to be a Sly super-stalker for that to salvage things. We kick off with a' Nam flashback mission, and here you're introduced to several of the crippling problems present, none of which go away.
Firstly, controlling an on-rails shooter with an analogue stick sucks. And while you can use Move, you'd be better served just ejecting the disc than actually bothering to plug in your PlayStation Eye. Then there's the AI, which makes your average James Bond henchman look like a sharpshooter. Enemies standing just a few yards in front of you will pepper everything with bullets except any part of your body, often freezing in place to give you the chance to reload before you blow their pitiful lives away, which is undoubtedly generous but hardly lends itself to an immersive gaming experience.
And then there's the checkpointing system. Even on the default difficulty, you have to start entire levels again if you fail more than five times – something that's quickly done, considering ducking behind cover often does absolutely nothing at all. It's even difficult to wrestle the aiming reticule to where you want it. As your frustration begins to build, this q
uickly turns into a Sisyphean task – if Sisyphus had to stare at horribly pixelated Vietcong soldiers as he pushed his boulder uphill.
As you advance through the game, things don't get much better. The entire second level consists entirely of QTEs — and I promise this is not an exaggeration. Some of them are a little harsh - they all send you back to the beginning of the level if you fail five times.
Then it's a question of picking and choosing: some QTEs, some mindless blasting, all crushing pain. It's frequently stated that video game adaptations for the big screen are nearly always bad - however, this is proof that the reverse is accurate a thousand times over. It only escapes the lowest possible grade because it (almost) works. Rambo evokes more rage than by biting your tongue after stubbed toe.
