Disclaimer: This is a personal rant

If you don't know I hate my job

I have been fed up with my current job and with the people I have to deal with on a regular basis.

Everyone just treat each other like garbage because that's the work culture of my organization, and you are expected to toe the line.

During the first lockdown of the Pandemic in the early 2020 I was forced to work for 16 hours for 7 days for meaningless and shit tasks that that no meaning other than to keep the employees busy.

Yet I still continue to work here!

Honestly I rant about it for so long but I still haven't put in my resignation.

The reason because of that is simple: I am poor.

But I have been trying to find another job for so long without any success.

I had once had a gap in my employment

Before I joined my current organization I was working for a different organization and after 2.5 years I had put in my resignation without securing a job offer from somewhere else.

Which led into one of the worst period of my life.

Real problem with unemployment is not the money but the people

When I quit my old job I had been jobless for almost a year when I was constantly searching for some other job.

But the constant nagging and demotivation from the people around me pushed me into a depression.

Worst of all the people who berated and humiliated me on a daily was my family.

To them I was good for nothing slob who used to have a meager earning and had even lost that.

During that time I constantly felt as if my head was heavy and full of something (I read it could have been inflammation from constant stress and depression, but can't as for sure as I never went for a diagnosis)

I Got this job as favor from someone

I was so down during that time that I asked for a favor from someone in the family, since then it has become a matter of constant scorn.

I am constantly reminded of that fact.

Afraid of the future

I don't know how long can I survive without any income, plus now I am even married and more responsibilities.

Even after searching for a job for 2 years I still haven't found anything.

I am just afraid of the future, my life has been a constant state of mental angst

Even I quit my job and am jobless for a year or more I literally don't knnow what will happen to me.