There will always be that certain things we wanted to do but somehow we're afraid or not yet ready for the consequences. It might not be so important "sometime" but by believing that it will make us feel better, we still have the urge to do it. As a person who's currently on the process of getting into the real life, I wanted to do things that I can't even do just because of the conscience that keeps on attacking me. Don't misunderstood. I just meant the things that my parents won't even allow me to do.
Live Independently
Whenever I look at my classmates who are on boarding house, I wonder if I am in their shoes too. I mean, what if I also live independently - away from my parents. I always ask them on what they feel when they are away from their family. Common answers were "I miss my family", "It's hard to live by yourself", "it's harder that you imagine", or such.
It maybe a lame excuse if I said that I can do it for sure. Or sometimes I thought that they might find it offensive when I told them I wanted to live independently well in fact, I am just 15 mins away from my family. But, forgetting about these, I wanted to live separately because I wanted to be prepared from the future. I don't want myself to be so dependent from my family. I will have my own life soon, and is it better to start right now? I mean, yeah, they might find it as "proud", but I really wanted to, If I'm not just afraid.
Overnight Camping/Swimming
Almost every vacation, my friends will invite me to have overnight camping or swimming with them. But as always, my parents won't allow me. Actually, I just done overnight camping when it is a school camping and experienced overnight swimming when I am with my family. I never experience any of these alone or just with my friend, though they are allowing me to go through day swimming but night swimming hits different.
Since I was a child, until I reached 18 years old, my parents won't allow me to go outside unless it is reasonable and justifiable. Don't get them wrong, I still have the chance to go outside and play with my friends. But as I grow older, I realized that they are loosing their strictness on me. I mean, they will allow me to go through different places now compared before. I may not go to overnight camping or overnight swimming right now, I know that I will experience it sooner or later.
Wear trendy clothes
If you also have a tiktok account, you can relate to me on this. There are lots of new trends today and as a teenager, I also have the passion to do these trends especially with clothes trends. There are lots of new trends today such as crop tops, puff dress, boots, crochet products, filters, and even tiktok video trends.
I must say that my family is so conservative. They will judge you even if you just wear sando outside. I mean, why? What if those are the clothes I am comfortable with? They are not that strict but sometimes, whenever I put my clothes on, they are the first thing that will came into my mind. The second one, is the society. Society is sometimes a "judgmental world". Body shaming in one of it. When you don't have that Coca-Cola body then you wear a crop top or dress, they will look at you like you're going to kill them. I mean, where is the freedom we all wanted to experience? It's not because we can't wear them, but because people's eyes and mouth are like knives that continuously killing us.
I know I am not the only one who have something they wanted to do but still afraid to do it. I am with you. Share it to us!
Photos were from Unsplash and internet. Links are provided. 💙