The struggle is real...
It will always be a struggle whenever we face something that is not in our plans. There are time when we question our purpose in life - if we are still worthy of the life we have. We have different personalities, and different ways on how to deal with life.
As a student, I am currently at the edge of forcing myself to do this and that. I am forced because I don't have my own will to do so. I can't decide on my own and that makes me feel like I'm a little bit out of place right now. I wanted to do things, but I don't know when and where to start.
When it comes to problems, sometimes, fear comes first for me. I was dominated by fear, and I can think properly. I always have these mixed emotions that led me to something I am not ready of. I am just a coward girl.
THAT WAS ALL BEFORE...
Before, I was not sure of anything. I always doubt and cry. I can't even trust myself towards things and decision makings. But now, I know that I have changed for good.
I learned to trust myself and do things on my own. I learned that everything that comes to me is something I can handle on my own. I believe that I got the nerves and guts to survive it. I learned to cope up with the situation that I am in. It wasn't easy, but it's quite a process.
Everything takes time, as they always say. I learned that you can't force something to be done easily, but if you really want it to happen, starting a single step is a great start.
I have known some people who are just the same as me. They can't also keep up with their own behavior. They are also struggling and trying to blend in the society. And I believe that it's something they have gone through to be where they are right now.
We, as humans, have different mentality and different ways of dealing with things. Some of us just wanted to be cool about it, some have their breakdowns and hopeless days, some can easily adopt with the changes, some are starting their steps little by little, some undergone depressions and anxieties, and some became an extremely different person.
As for me, I just wanted to be cool about it, but I really can't. I always feel depressed and stressed at the same time. But I tend not to make it obvious in front of my family. I'm a jolly person and I believe that it's what I meant to be. What I do is to let time heal everything. I believe that through time, I can think and decide without regretting it in the future. I just make myself busy with some things that makes me forget that I am going through that hardship. It's not easy, but I manage to stay in track by doing that.
No matter how differ we are from others, what matters the most is that we took a move in everything that hinders us in becoming who we are. We are urged to do things that can motivate us and change our lives. We are not stagnant. We are self-moving object that makes his way to go through that door of success.
Empathy is a value that very few have developed and that is key to understanding what you have just written. Keep strong and true to yourself!