Nobody's Perfect: A Story of my Mistakes.

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2 years ago

Have you ever made a mistakes your whole life? Ofcourse for sure all of us did our own mistakes already. Co'z nobody's perfect. We all committed mistakes in our past or even now. Only Hypocrites will say he/she didn't make a mistake.

Me myself did a lot of mistakes in my past already. Mistakes that you will never can't imagine that I've done it all. I even suffered a lot because of my mistakes. People judged me like they never committed any mistakes their entire life. But you know what? I never regretted all the mistakes that I've done my whole life. I chose to do it so I have to stand for it, because sometimes in life we have this kind of mistakes that we need to stand up for, thinking that this is the only thing that can help us. Even this mistake will caused us shame on judgemental people.

This is the first time I will share a part of my life where I became a sinner because of a mistakes I chose to make. It is not easy to have that darkest secret in a world full of judgmental people. But I will share it just to make others aware that not all mistakes are totally bad, that sometimes there are mistakes that just had to be made because this is the only way left to survive for people who have no one else to cling on. Here in this Article I will share a story of my mistakes and how I changed it all.

It was 2009 when I became aware in the the world of β€œWalker” or β€œPSP” which means "Personal Service Provider". What does Walker means or do? Walker is just another term of Online Escorts where they offers escort service through online transactions. And for sure you already know what's Escorts means. And yes admit I've been a walker before, but that was when my eldest was still alive. One of my friend before who i just met through Chattv was the one who introduced me on this kind of job. I was jobless before since my eldest's father abandoned us already, and i was just living with my Mom at my stepdad's house. I didn't know any work at that time, I've been trying to find a job but I always rejected since I'm just a highschool graduate. And I am already shy at my stepdad at that time i felt like I'm already giving them a hard time since my daughter is also growing already. My friend talks about it first and she told me that it is where she gets money to help her Mom provide their daily needs. I was hesitant to do that kind of job co'z i know that it was not the answer to my problem but as time pass we are already suffering too much on our daily needs too and I can't still find a job. So I accepted my friend's offer to me. She made an account for me on a Walker Site. I'm afraid coz i don't know what to do and I'm afraid to get some disease out of this job too. But she taught me what to do, how to protect myself and how to be comfortable Incase I'm with the client already.

Within a year. I was able to tolerate that kind of work. Disgusting, nauseating to think about but I had to do it. I endured the hardship inside me for the sake of my child and family. I have Filipino clients and foreigners too and I'm lucky that somehow I know they are clean coz they have a decent job, somehow I am comfortable to be with them. I also became friends with some of my regular that I didn't have to look for different clients already. Some of them helps me even without intimate contact. In short I don't have to go out anymore because I already have regular support from them because they wanted to help me coz they understand my situation why I entered that kind of job.

One of them was the father of my 2nd child where he courted me and became my boyfriend. Since then I never really went out because I knew he was serious with me and he accepted me wholeheartedly. Everything had changed when we've been together, he helped me to change. He helped me to get out of the darkest days of my life. Until i got pregnant with our new baby. I was happy at that time coz i thought finally I'll gonna have a complete family that i can call my own, together with him, my eldest and our new baby. Until that accident happened to my first child. After i lost my eldest while I'm pregnant, my relationship with my boyfriend also changed. I know it was all my fault, he did everything to comfort me with my child's loss but my mind was closed at that time and I'm mad to all the people around me aside from Mom and Dad. I rejected the man who loved and accepted me wholeheartedly. I pushed him away and it was too late when I realized my mistake because he decided to go away from me and followed his family's advice to stay away from me. His family never accepted me because of my past even though I I'm carrying our baby. After 2 years, he returned to our lives and tried to fix our relationship but we still didn't make it because his family keeps interfere and influenced him, until he finally left us again for real. He left all the responsibility to our child.

Since then I decided to changed my life. I never go back from walking though I'm having hard time again. I tried to find a clean job and i never stopped until I finally found one. It was 2013 when I became a dealer of a Machine. A hydrocleaning Machine at Rainbow Pacific Company. I was working there already when I met my 3rd child's Dad (the one I'm living with as of today). And I can say meeting him was another mistake again. 🀦

When i met him i thought he was single. I met him online too and it's just happened that he lives near the place I work. He courted me though through online only. And since I'm "Marupok" I fell on his sweet words. I thought he was really serious so yes i finally said yes when he asked me to be his girl. After 5months if I'm not mistaken I got pregnant to my 3rd child. When i told him he told me to not continue my pregnancy while it's still a month old pregnancy. I asked why, why does he want me to do that? I got mad and curious coz i thought he loved me, but why does he want me to abort our child. Until he admitted that he was already married and her wife and his family shouldn't know about me and our baby. I was shocked and felt like my world melts. Like what the fuck did I enter? I got pregnant with a married man? What will i do now? How can i tell my Mom and my family about it? Another mistakes choosing wrong man for the 3rd time? How can i face those judgemental people around me? What will happen to me and my daughter with the baby inside me? I really don't know what to do at the time to many questions on my mind. I even think to just commit suicide coz i know my Mom will gonna kill me for getting pregnant for the 3rd time. I've even questioned God why this happens to me. Did I make a big sin to suffer something like this? Do i deserve to experience this kind of misfortune? And yeah since his married what should i do now I can't just push him to support me or choose me coz he only proves that he just used me. He just played with me and make me believe all his lies.

Since he found out I'm pregnant he never showed up again. I tried to calm myself down. I first hid my condition from my mother, trying to think of what I should do while my stomach was still small. I continued to work to be able to save for my pregnancy needs. But moms are really smart, lols. I was 5 months pregnant when my mother confronted me about who's the father of the baby I'm carrying, that she had known for a long time that I'm pregnant and was just waiting for me to admit it. But I can't tell her that a married man got me pregnant because she will definitely gonna kill me. I just said that he already left me. So in her anger she kicked me out our house. That was the time my bestfriend adopted me for 3 months. But when I was about to give birth, M0m also asked me to go home and she was the one who was there to support me while I'm giving birth and she took care of my new baby too.

I suffered a lot of judgements at that time, but Mom never left me and supported me no matter what mistakes i did. After that shameful mistakes that I committed i tried to rise up again for the sake of my kids. I decided to changed my life for real and this time I decided to focus on my kids. I promised that they were the only one I will think of this time. Since I can't find a job I tried to start an Online Business since I was just living around Baclaran where all the main suppliers are there. Thanks God I made it. I've been a full time supplier where my online shop is already known too in Facebook. That's the biggest achievement I did my whole life, because of my new work I can finally support my kids and my family on my own. I never need to beg anyone for some help anymore. I changed my life and make it more better than ever.

2019, everything was great for me and my kids already when my youngest child showed up again. He tried to come back our lives. I don't believe him at first but he told me that he and her wife separated already coz her wife cheated on him too like what he did to her before using me. After months of trying to prove that he really wanted us back and after he brought me and our child here on their house to meet his family that's when i also proved that he was really telling the truth this time. His family especially his Mom accepted her grandchild wholeheartedly since my partner never had a child to his ex-Wife.

We start over again after 5years being abandoned by him. And until now we are still together going strong, helping each other for our family. Finally I now have a family I can call my own, with my partner and my two beautiful kids. My partner and his ex-Wife is not annulled yet so in papers they're still married and anytime we might have a problem about that but for now I'm not thinking about it yet. Coz what's most important for me now is we have each others back, loving each other and we are happy as one real family.

CONCLUSION:

Making mistakes is not a reason for us to stop. Mistakes are just a lessons that we must learn in order to fix our lives and make it better. Mistakes doesn't justify who we really are. No matter how people judge you by your mistakes as long as you know yourself and have the people who loves you, their judgement still doesn't matter anything. We all makes mistakes but what important is we know how to admit our mistakes and we don't remain on it instead we are doing our best to change everything for ourselves. πŸ™‚

Note: You may also judge me on my past but try to ask yourself first too. Have you made no mistakes in your entire life?

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2 years ago

Comments

They are real people with their own stories, aspirations, and challenges. By moving beyond narrow stereotypes and acknowledging the Bratislava escorts diversity and agency of individuals involved in sex work, we can foster a more compassionate and inclusive society. It's time to debunk the myths surrounding blonde escorts and recognize their humanity, dignity, and right to live free from judgment and discrimination.

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4 weeks ago

It's true po na wala nmn po talaga perfect na tao, all of us are subject to do mistakes ang importante nmn po is natuto tayo sating pagkakamali :)

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2 years ago

..so true, what's important is we learned our lessons through those mistakes..isa pa only God can judge us, so others judgement is not important anymore.. πŸ™‚

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2 years ago

Oii, kala ko sa mga pocketbook lang nangyayari yong sa escort yong may online chenes kasi may nabasa ako about jan ee. It happened in reality too pala. Dun naman sa nabasa ko may option ka if you want to be intimate with them or nah. Pero, mas malaki ang makukuha mo naman pag ganyang mag intimate chenes kesa dun sa wala. Ang ganap mo naman dun ay parang companion, or escort sa kunh saan man unh pang display ba.

But anyway, those judger who judge you or say words about you ay yong mga taong nag fefeeling malinis na kala mo'y walang itinatagong baho sa katawan, baka nga mas malala pa sila sayo dib. At saka, if para sa pamilya lahat talaga magagawa para mabuhay, bilib nga ako kasi nakaya mo. O diba that makes you more stronger to face those challenges in life. And dun naman sa love life mo, nagmahal kalang naman talaga diba. Ang mahalaga wala kang ginawang masama, hindi ka pumatau tulad nong iba na naaatim na pumatay ng anak dahil lang sa Hindi pa buo ying bata. πŸ€—

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2 years ago

..yay, Rusty ikaw ba yan? laki ng tip ko ah 😍 haha..

..anyway yeah, it happens in reality, there are still people doing that until pag sinearch about sa mga PSP Walkers but i understand why they still doing that except those who only do that for luxuries dahil may iba talaga ginagawa yan para lang sa luho at magmukhang yayamanin..in my case tlgang g na g ako noon as in wala tlga makapitan kaya pikit mata nalang kapit sa patalim..yung kantang magdalena totoo lahat yun..hindi dapat kaagad nanghuhusga lalo na kung wala ka sa ganung sitwasyon..

..but what matters now is I survived to get out of that darkness..tipong araw araw ko talaga pinagdarasal na makagawa ako ng paraan para makaalis sa ganun kasi hindi nmn yun yung pinangarap kong buhay eh..lalo na sa anak ko noon nung buhay pa sya.. it's sad nga lang na kung kailan ayos na buhay saka nmn sya nawala sa akin..

..and yeah kahit kailan di ko maaatim magpalaglag kahit pa sabihin na hindi pa buo kasi kahit anong mangyari dugot laman ko pa din yung nasa tiyan ko..dibale ng maghirap at mahusgahan basta mailabas ko lang sya ng maayos sa mundong ito.. 😌

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2 years ago

Being able to share this with us now is a way of freeing yourself from a burden of the past. Thanks for showing us that all have a chance to make things better. Who are we to judge? In the Bible, the one that should throw a stone should be the one that has not done anything wrong.

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2 years ago

..yeah exactly, no one's perfect and everybody deserves a second chance.. and those people who judged others mistakes are fools.. they're just fooling their selves pretending they are clean and never commited some mistakes..

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2 years ago

It is so brave of you to tell us all these. Not everyone have the courage to admit to their mistakes. And I agree that mistakes are meant to teach us a lesson. I can see now how strong you've become because of all the mistakes you have made in the past.

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2 years ago

It's already a part of my past so i think it's not a big deal anymore and it's upto the people who'll read this if they'll still gonna judge my past.. 😊 what's important to me now is I've already moved on and did everything to change my life. πŸ™‚ mistakes makes us more better than before.. πŸ™‚

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2 years ago

couldn't agree more with that. :)

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2 years ago

Thanks for sharing your story... It's real... Sorry for your loss. God be with you as you continue building your family.

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2 years ago

..thank you so much 😊 and thank you also for the new Sponsorship 😊 God bless you too sir.. πŸ™‚πŸ˜‡

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2 years ago

You are so brave to reveal that.. But at least okay kna ngayon and never go back to that work again...and you are lucky to have a caring and understanding mom

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2 years ago

..yiz it's fine with me, it's just a part of dark past anyway haha, marami na din ako insultong narinig about jan before so it doesn't matter na to me kung ano iisipin ng iba..ang mahalaga maayos na buhay ko ngayon. 😊 and yeah kaya super worried ako bout Mom's condition kasi she's everything i have eh aside from my kids..mawalan na ako ng lalaki sa buhay wag lang nanay. 😌

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2 years ago

Tama.. Mawalan na ng lalaki..wag lng ina 😁

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2 years ago

No one without a mistake in his or her life. We all are victims of one circumstance or the other. We only need someone to lean on who could trust and encourage us. Thank God despite everything, your mom stood by you. This is the kind of people we need to stand by us when we make mistakes. We need someone to encourage and help us believe in ourselves.

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2 years ago

So true..yeah we are all victims of our own unexpected situations..good thing we can still manage to cope with it no matter how hard the situation is for us..

..and yeah Thank's God for giving me such a loving and understanding Mom.. inspite of all my mistakes she's always there support me no matter what mistakes I commited. πŸ™‚

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2 years ago

You made imperfectly perfect. Everything happens for a reason for you to be mold as a better version of yourself. It may test you ,break you or anything that makes u down . Remember, Time will change and Time will give you as Best life you've been dreaming of. God is there to pick you up from darkness.😊 Godbless!

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2 years ago

Exactly, honestly I really don't know how I manage to get out of that darkest part of my life..I'm just thankful to those people who stood by my side and helped me get over it.. especiallom and my kids, and my partner as well today.. πŸ™‚

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2 years ago

Yes good for you😊 I feel you , ung feeling na being fighting yourselves to get out the darkness things in life. When i am in my dark past, I don't have any things to hold on, I cried in the four corner and wipe it to my pillows. So much heavy hearts crying silently. But one thing that makes me go with the flow in life and makes me to overcome all circumstances is holding the goodness of the Lord. I keep pushing myself to him.

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2 years ago

.. that's the least we can do when we're in our darkest days..ask his guidance how to get out of that darkness. 😌 It's really hard, crying almost everynight asking why this things happens to you but in the end it was only him who could us aside from our loved ones supports. πŸ™‚

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2 years ago

Yesss superrrrrrr. Sometimes we're in the point of thinking suicidal because we don't know whats going on. It is really depression kill us. And now so much blessed by God by getting out of those darkness we had.

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2 years ago

Yeah so true, only Hypocrites says they don't make mistakes 😌

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2 years ago

We all commit mistakes that's inevitable.. and mistakes helps us to learn and grow

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2 years ago