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Finally, he also sent our daughter to visit me after two months. He brought the child to me on Friday, then what he wanted was to pick her up on Sunday morning. I asked him if he could just get her on Sunday night, but he said that they were going somewhere and that their whole family would go to Tagaytay. I just let it go so that there is no more fighting. Then Sunday morning I wake up my daughter because her Daddy is going to pick her up but she doesn't want to, she doesn't want to go to Tagaytay because she prefers to be with me. She was crying so I begged her Daddy but he just got angrier and came to our place. When he arrived, he shouted at our daughter in front of me "Are you going home or not?". In fear, our child cried even more and I was also shocked so I also yelled at him that he does not need to raise his voice to our child. We both responded with high voices and we were both already angry. My mom and stepdad just stopped us. So I just talked to my daughter to go with his Daddy so that there would be no problem anymore. Imagine that he has only been with his daughter for 2 months and then he will yell at her like that? Instead of talking to her nicely. He even told me that I was tolerating our daughter and that I shouldn't have cared about how he disciplined his own child. Damn, that's my child too! Of course, it hurts me as a mother that her father, whom she has only been with for a while, would treat her like that. I keep thinking, is my daughter's situation like that at their house?
A few days after that fight he suddenly called me. I asked him how's my daughter. He said she was fine but he said he just had something to say so he called. He told me to listen to him first before I argue with what he had to say. I listened to him, but I didn't like what he said. He said that he needs to get my daughter away from me before she gets my bad behavior. He also said that he already talked to a lawyer to settle his adoption with our daughter. He asked me to choose whether I will take back my child or sign the Adoption Letter which is if I do, I will never see my child again because they will remove my name from her birth certificate and I will no longer have any rights to her.
What a big joke right? For all the sacrifices and hard work that I had to go through for my daughter. In how many years have I endured all the responsibility of her alone, then he will just be stripped of my rights as a Mom in an instant? Of course, I did not agree. I took her back and fought for her. It doesn't matter if I suffer alone again as long as we are together. It's not that easy to suddenly take away my rights from my child. And I'm sure that his family pushed him that idea again. He never really had his own balls. He doesn't have his own decisions in life, especially for his own child.
Because I chose to take my child back rather than them taking away my rights. I picked her up from her Dad's place with my mom. My daughter was happy to be back in our house, but she also cried when she told me what her father and his family told her. She said that before we took her, her father took a video of her and asked her who she would choose, me or her Daddy. Her Dad said that if she chooses me, nothing will happen in her life and once she chooses me, he says that our daughter should forget that she has a father and that she should never show up to him again or she should never come to their house again. What an asshole right? How can a father tell his child to forget him and never show up to him again? That's the worst nightmare for a child. To be rejected and abandoned by his own father!
I used to think that scenes like this were only in movies, where the man is capable in life and then his family refuses to accept the woman and their child. The man's family is "Matapobre" (Matapobre is idiomatic which means one who looks down on others, particularly the poor)and he will choose his family over his own child. I realized and prove that this happens not only in movies but also in real life. And it hurts so much for me to see my child growing up with hatred and pain, that she continues to be hurt by what happened and by the words that her own father said to her. I know it's forever etched in her mind.
Until now, I still have to continue explaining to my daughter everything that happened. Coz as much as possible I don't want her to harbor a grudge against her father while she grows up. She always tells me that she is still mad at her Daddy but I'm just letting her feel that way for now. I just keep telling her that time will come when she will understand everything, and I also know that time will also come when she and her father will meet again. Hopefully, by that time his father will have realized all his mistakes and responsibilities to his daughter. Right now my daughter can still see her father on Facebook and he seems like he has found someone else already and it looks like he's starting a family of his own. My daughter's pain gets worse towards her dad, she gets jealous every time he sees that his father is happy in his newfound family, but I know that only time can heal the pain she feels for his father. My daughter is kind and a good child. I know that one day she will learn to forgive her father too.
Somehow we are also happy now with my new family, especially since my youngest's Father accepts her as his real daughter too.
It's hard to have a broken family, but it's even harder if children can grow up in the chaotic situation of their parents. This will only cause more Trauma or rebellion for them. So sometimes it's better not to force things for the sake of our children. You should take all the responsibilities on them alone rather than have them end up in trouble with their parents.