My Daughter's Worst Nightmare (Part 1)

Friday. July 22, 2022

BROKEN FAMILY. It is one of the most painful and difficult experiences for every child whose parents are separated. I also went through having a Broken Family and it wasn’t easy. It’s hard because I don’t have a parent to guide me as I grow up because they’ve both been away from me since they separated. I grew up under the guidance of my Grandma and Auntie since I was born.

I told myself then, that I would not allow this scenario to happen to my children. Because I know the feeling that there is no parent next to me that I can run to when I feel something or I am sick. I know the pain and hardship that your friends or schoolmates bully you because you don't have Mom and Dad who will go to school with me on every occasion or at school events. I was always alone because my grandmother used to sell fish in the market and my Aunt used to study too.

But then, I failed, and as I did my children also suffered a broken family. From my eldest who's already in heaven and my 2nd child who's already 11 years old now. But what is worse about my 2nd daughter is that her own father rejected her and forgot about her already.

At first, we even tried to fix our broken relationship with her father. She was one year old when her father came back into our lives. I thought everything would be ok and our family would be complete again, but in the end, he still chose his family who did not want to accept us to be part of their family. He left us for the second time. I was in so much pain at that time. because he was not able to fight us with his family again, for the fear that they would also reject him. His family is capable of life and is known in their area in Mandaluyong. They also have a Chinese race so his family is very strict that what they want for him is also a Chinese or also someone capable in life, not like me who is just a poor person and went through a bad past. That's the reason why they are really against our relationship. It even got to the point that they even had my daughter's DNA tested so I was very angry with them at that time. I feel like they really look down on me.

My Mom has always told me to fight for my daughter's rights because it is still his father's responsibility. But I really didn't dare to do that, because my pride was so high back then that I always thought that I could raise my daughter even without him.

When my daughter turned 4 years old, my mother forced me to take her to her father's house. At first, I didn't want to but I also agreed because my daughter is growing up. But it was not I who brought him to his father's house but my Mother. Somehow, his father treated them well when they went to his house. Except for his family who still does not want to accept my child, because they think that I will only use him to get money because at that time I had just given birth to my youngest child with my new boyfriend (my hubby now) who also left me before. They think that I will only use their money to support the needs of my youngest. Which is I know to myself that's not true because as much as possible I don't want to have any contact with them again. If it weren't for my mother and daughter who are also looking for her real father, I really don't intend to show my daughter to them again. Her father accepted her again and his family can't do anything but accept it too but they gave me a condition back then that they would only support my daughter whenever she was in their house. But when she will come home to me, she can't bring anything with her, whether it's money or things and toys that they bought for her. I just let that set up for my daughter's sake. Even if it's already an insult to me as a person, especially as a mother. But after a few months, he disappeared again and never contacted me again. I know for sure that it is because of his family again, that he got brainwashed again.

For the third time, he left her daughter again and never contacted us again. I had no choice but to let my daughter understand again what happened, that maybe her father had a reason why it didn't show up to her again. I haven't even called or contacted her father again. I'm already used to him doing that to us, especially to our child. I just worked hard to raise my children on my own. I proved to everyone that I could raise my children without help from their fathers.

Until 2018 when I got sick, I really thought it was the end of me. But thank God he gave me a second life again. But since I was still sick I didn't know how to start again. I couldn't work back then because I wasn't cured of my illness yet. My eldest was only 7 years old then while my youngest was only 4 years old. I used to think about how I would support them in my condition or how they would be able to when something happened to me. Until my Mom said again why I didn't ask their fathers for help. I don't need to keep the problem alone, because they are still their father's responsibility.

I swallowed my pride again for the sake of my daughter. I messaged my eldest father and told him about my health condition. I was surprised when he replied to me and ask me to meet to talk about our daughter. He offered me that if I wanted he would just take our daughter and he would send her to school, who was in grade 2 at that time. Even against my will, I agreed, I had no choice. I couldn't work that. I just decided to think of my daughter's future, and I know only her father can give that to her. We talked nicely with our child’s new setup that I will not interfere with what they want, especially in her daughter's education. I agreed to all their conditions. He enrolled her daughter in a Private School (Chinese School). The only thing I asked of them was to be with my daughter at least every two weeks and during weekends, which he agreed to.

Everything goes well at first. He was always updating me about our child and we also continued to talk in video calls so I can see that my daughter is doing well with them. I can also see in their pictures how happy my child is with her Daddy and with their family. I can see that they fully accepted her at that time. They provide everything she wants and needs. Until our agreement that I could borrow her was not fulfilled. At first, I endured not seeing her for a month, I just thought that they also needed quality time as father and daughter because of the length of time they were not together. When it was the second month that I hardly even talked to my daughter, that's when I started to complain to him. I asked him why doesn't seem like what we talked about didn't come true, and why do I feel like he was slowly taking our daughter away from me. He said that he was only making up for all the mistakes he made with his child.

TO BE CONTINUED....

Note: I decided to make it 2 Articles as it was a too-long story, lols.

LEAD IMAGE SOURCE: QUOTES GRAM (edited via Canva App)