August 17,2021

Topic: Bullying

Bullying is the use of force, coercion, hurtful teasing or threat, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception (by the bully or by others) of an imbalance of physical or social power. This imbalance distinguishes bullying from conflict.[1] Bullying is a subcategory of aggressive behavior characterized by the following three criteria: (1) hostile intent, (2) imbalance of power, and (3) repetition over a period of time.[2] Bullying is the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another individual, physically, mentally, or emotionally.

• Source: Wikipedia

Have you ever experienced being the center of bullying when you were a child? For me to be the center of bullying was the worst experience I had when I was a child. Worst experience that I admit that until now I still carry with me as I get older. Many young people fall victim to bullying. Various forms of bullying often occur at school, they get bully by their classmates or schoolmates. Sometimes even in their own area or place they also experience the same, it is neighbors or even relatives bully them.

There are many types of bullying, including Physical, Verbal, Non-verbal, and nowadays there is this also called Cyber ​​bullying through Social Medias. All of this has only one effect on us. Physically Pain for Physical Bully. Mentally and Emotionally pain for all kinds of bullying. All of this can also causes mental disorders, depression, lack of self -confidence, and above all trauma, which the child can carry until he or she grows old.

Me personally I suffered Verbal bullying when I was a child. At school and even in our own place. Not only when I was a child but till I grow older on my teenage days. It's been hard to live with full of bullies around. So hard to do what you want, it's hard to make friends, and most it is very difficult to move properly because anytime every move you make they will notice you and tease you or insult you. I grew up wanting to hide myself from people because every time they see me, they just keep teasing me.

Once in noise.cash someone also noticed me why I always cover one of my eyes. I told him that this will be one of my topics in my article one day, why I always hide one eye. So now I will share the reason why.

My left eye was been the reason why I was been a center of bullying when I was a kid until teenage days. Why? It's because my left eye is smaller than my right eye. It is also swollen before when I was a kid. I honestly don't know the reason bavk then why left eye is smaller than the other one and it is also swollen. All my Grandma told me was, when I was just a baby they just noticed that there was this one red spot on my forehead at the top of my eye. And as time goes by that red spot keeps moving down to my eye. Until my left eye were swollen and very red. They said Mom did brought me to the doctor back then and I'm about to have my surgery but my Dad who was been at the City Jail that time tried to escape and took me away. Grandma said that my Dad got afraid that something might gonna happen to me during the surgery so he escaped and took me away. He took a risk to escape at the jail and run away just to save my life. I was just two months old when that happen. So there i didn't got a chance to have the surgery so I grew up with a small left eye, lols.

So back then during my elementary days, there's no day that people keeps teasing me and insulting me, they always calling me "KIRAT". Kirat means the other one eye is deformed or small than the other one. I used to cry almost everyday back then. They didn't even calling me with my name instead they named "Kirat" or "Kilit" (ilocano word of kirat).

Until highschool I experience the same thing. Mom took me here in Manila from Baguio City when I was in second year high scholl. So i thought everything will change since I'm already here in Manila but nothing had changed. My classmates here still calling me the same that I also end up crying everytime I go home. That's the time I asked Mom is my left eye like this, though it's now swelling already like before but it is still small. Then she told me same as what my grandma told me but she said what happened to my eye is a kind of disease. Disease that can be removed through surgery. And he blames Dad because if he hadn't took me away and hidden me, I would have had surgery when I was a baby.

Mom brought me to Philippine General Hospital when I was in 3rd year highschool. We tried to have me checked up just in case there was still a chance that my eye would heal. So there, for the first time I found out what really happened to my eye. I had a Hemangioma when Mom gave birth to me. It started on my forehead but suddenly went to my eye.

Hemangioma :

A hemangioma (he-man-jee-O-muh) is a bright red birthmark that shows up at birth or in the first or second week of life. It looks like a rubbery bump and is made up of extra blood vessels in the skin. A hemangioma can occur anywhere on the body, but most commonly appears on the face, scalp, chest or back. Treatment for a baby's hemangioma (infantile hemangioma) usually isn't needed as it fades over time. A child who has this condition during infancy usually has little visible trace of the growth by age 10. You may want to consider treatment if a hemangioma interferes with seeing, breathing or other functions.

Source: Mayoclinic.org

So there it is just kind of birthmark which unfortunately grew in my eye. The birthmark is already gone as it will just disappear during 5-7 years old as my doctor told me. But what sad is it leaves a trace on my already. My left eye is smaller now and what's worst is it affects my eye sight already. My left eye can't see anymore. I mean it can see colors and can still distinguish things but it can't read anymore. And there's no chance for my left eye to see clearly anymore as it is already like a computer that is totally shut down already. I can still have a surgery just to make it align with my right eye just to make it look better but since we don't have enough money at that time too I wasn't still able have a chance to have a surgery. Well it's still sad that i didn't got a chance to have a surgery when I was baby maybe my eyesight would have been saved. But i can't blame my Dad for getting worried about I was just 2 months old back then so it's too risky either for him. Atleast i know now that's how my father loves me so much. The only thing is because of that failed surgery I suffered a traumatic childhood experience,lols.

Until now that I already had my own family and got kids already. Those memories of my past keeps bothering me. Even if my Mom, my best friend and my husband keeps telling me that i don't have to hide my eyes because for them I'm still beautiful inspite of this small left eye. But I felt like it's still better to cover it. Because there are still people who are too judgemental, and i just know it with the looks in their eyes staring at my eye. There are questions in their eyes and some people can't help themselves asking too why my one eye is small. I can't just explain to everyone why my left eye is small,lols. So it's better to just cover it just be pretty in their eyes without asking so many questions, hahaha.

Closing Thoughts:

Many people suffers bullying, wether young or old because bullies do not know what's the true story behind their victims. What their victims are really going through despite the harassment they experience from them. It is difficult for the victims to bear the pain caused by their insults and teasing. Especially if it's not their fault what others see in them.

People must learn to respect and treat others right no matter what they see. Because not all the time you can make it funny to laugh at something you don't even know what really happened to that person. Respect should be for everyone, not just for those who you want to respect.

Lead Image: Canva App