I spoke to her this morning and about 60 seconds in the conversation i felt disappointment and anger. I just snapped and cut the conversation i could not take it anymore.
I was upset a little while and blamed her . I felt it was her fault that I was upset and then i realised:
How can i blame someone else for feelings that are complete within me?!
So I let my feeling go wild and feel them . I arrived at point that i had to find a way to hide from them to comfort myself and i turned to food. I started light. First a soup that was counts as be healthy, but then it all went down the drain . Junk food followed.
After full day spend filled with feeling and food i realised: I must observe and allow myself to really feel and as much as i wish other would see my angle. I can not make them .
Namaste
Just because love is withheld from me , does not mean i should withhold it from others.