Realisation 8 : Turns out I chose you , not the other way around .
Parents. Who chose who ? Did our souls chose these parents and if so then why these specific parents. What do we have to learn from them , or is it possible we are here to teach them something.
I started to wonder about this during my dinner.I know - random timing, but yes. I had salad with all kinds of delicious things in them and as i bite down i thought that everyone in my family is not into greens , aside from me. I used to love same food, but somehow i grew apart and became someone else. Well not really different , just the real me.
So did we all agree together to be in the same life before we were born ? And if so what did we agree on ?
Namaste
All the thoughts felt far away until i found myself .
Realisation 7: All your life written in your palm ?
Half way in the 1990 something palmistry book i started to wonder. Is it possible that all your life is recorded in the lines of your palm .
I looked at the research made in 1974 and 1990 relation between life line and life longevity - data seem to be inconclusive
How do palm readers can predict so much information just by looking at ones palm ?
I read a while ago a book called called Journey of Souls where hypnotist have recorded people going from lives to lives stories from his patients . He goes over steps from the moment person dies until the arrive in the their soul cluster and pick the next life.
Yes that`s right . Book describe process of soul picking new life from some sort of book and being able to see life path . And this chapter of soul picking life have stayed with me since. So our soul knows general direction of our life before we are even born? What if palm is that record summarised?
There is evidence that palm lines are formed at very very young age and dint change that much during the life time . And no matter what type of work you do - palm still is specific to each individual the same as the fingerprint.
It truly does amaze me that all people in the world have completely unique fingerprint and palm. Nature is amazing.
Namaste
Can one uncover mystery of the palm ? What do lines on your hand tell you ?
Realisation 6: Creative power dying
So many post out there are full of copy paste of the material that have been already over published. New ideas and thought are not presented. And if any are, they seem to be spread instantly and copied.
It seems that people don`t want to simply sit in silence and think. Let their mind run wild . And any question and wonder is instantly answered by the internet. People seem to skip the step of trying to figure things out. Answers are found instantly online and sadly never questions. Sometimes i feel that internet could present any answer and we would instantly believe.
Example 1: When i was a child i used to wonder around the forest in the country side. I used to play with leaves, grass, water . Just about anything around me. There was no TV or internet that would distract me . I spend my days in the sounds of the wind and rain and birds.
What type of creative power do children build from electronic devices surrounding them ?
Example 2 : Recently i arrived at the community paining even . Free painting materials were provided for all. I sat and started drawing my vision or what ever and create, but right next to me was a person who pulled a photo up from the internet and painted exactly that .
Yes, it was beautiful and Yes it was still art, but it made me wonder - Have we lost out creative power ?
Example 3: I sat in the restaurant and observed people around me. I could smell the most magical food that had just arrived at the table and smiled. "What a joy it is to be able to taste." i thought to myself. Table in front got filled with 2 girls. I noticed silence that was the same as before they arrived. They ordered, finished food and left. All with minimum talking but maximum use of the phones during the meal. They seem to be alone, but together.
Namaste
I understand that change is a MUST , but i do wonder.
Have you noticed any loss of creative power around you ?
Or maybe its a new type of creativity that older generation is simply not used to ?
Realisation 5: Give 500% of LOVE , what would the heartbreak look like of that magnitude ?
One photo with 10 words. All it took for me to remember all the heartbreak she caused. I love her love no one else in this world.For years and years we were friends, but slowly i came to realise we have not talked as much. I always put an effort to communicate, but when i looked back for month of message i noticed that i seem to always be the one reaching out not her back to me.
" It cant be, she is just busy , shes got so much going on..."
I kept on telling myself, but in truth i had lost her. Completely.
Our relation completely broke and communication was cut down.My hearth was broken like never before.I think i truly didn't knew what heartbreak means until she broke mine. I felt replaced and abandoned. Some how i was not relevant anymore.
But then she reached out nearly a year later and i responded with caution . I hoped that all is well and decided not to hold grudge . Of course i love her and could not turn my back on her. We talked and just when i started to get comfortable she disappeared . Left me completely in the dark. After a while of reaching out and waiting I wrote a long message explaining that she is doing it again . And was about to send it when i realised, that she is not worth my engagement in this all i would do is put myself in a negative state and also put her in it. So i deleted message and went on with my life.
A while passed and i did wonder, what happened.
Weeks passed and out of nowhere this 1 photo and 10 words message arrive.
And i realised.. Before it arrived i haven thought of her for weeks. She was out of my life completely. And just like that she put herself back in my life, but now effect was not as strong. Seem to me that my hearth is healing and this time i have decided to follow her example and simply stay away. Not to be revengeful, but simply realise that there are others who deserve my love and want my love a lot more than her.
Namaste
When i love someone - I love them 500% and no longer i expect a return on my LOVE Investment. Do you expect a return ?
Realisation 4: Pins and needles in legs during and after meditation CAN change for better
Again i can not feel my legs just after meditation . And i`m already dreading this pins and needles feeling that is coming to me.
I felt my legs go numb during meditation . Usually this is where process stops and i my legs stay numb but i can feel them or the moment this becomes uncomfortable i give up and stop meditation.
But today.. Today was the first time that my leg felt as it was disappearing as if i had no leg at all. It was definitely a new one for me. I didn't move during this process, just tried to stay still and observe.
After a little longer while feeling reached my hips and i started to become uncomfortable and decide to open my eyes.
I stretched my legs out in front of me and waited for dreaded pins and needles, but within second my legs were back completely normal. No pins or needles. I shifted on my bum and wondered did i sit differently, or how did i make this happen.
For the first time ever my legs recovered within second from meditation vs other times i cant walk on them for about 5-10 minutes. As they are nearly going in the cramp.
I walked to the bed, lay down and looked at my legs. I could feel a small amount of needles coming over, but it was maybe 2 % of the normal amount.
I thought: "Mind over matter- Maybe it is possible . "
I had wondered about this for some time and tried to push my mind beyond body feelings, but no success so far . Until today where my mind had pushed past my body discomfort for the first time mind !
Namaste
Body controls mind or mind controls body .
Who controls who ?
Realisation 3: I can`t blame others for how i`m feeling.
I spoke to her this morning and about 60 seconds in the conversation i felt disappointment and anger. I just snapped and cut the conversation i could not take it anymore.
I was upset a little while and blamed her . I felt it was her fault that I was upset and then i realised:
How can i blame someone else for feelings that are complete within me?!
So I let my feeling go wild and feel them . I arrived at point that i had to find a way to hide from them to comfort myself and i turned to food. I started light. First a soup that was counts as be healthy, but then it all went down the drain . Junk food followed.
After full day spend filled with feeling and food i realised: I must observe and allow myself to really feel and as much as i wish other would see my angle. I can not make them .
Namaste
Just because love is withheld from me , does not mean i should withhold it from others.
Realisation 2: You can leave your body in this moment. Right now.
Separation between body and soul was undeniable . I felt i`m seeing myself from outside body as well as from inside. I could feel some sort of separation from physical body. It was week , but just enough for me to sense it.
I did not change my meditation posture on the ground under the stars. I stayed still in the lotus posture and kept focusing on the breath. I could hear tree branches next to my head and i could see in my minds eye the star filled sky above me , that i seen with my eyes just few minutes ago before starting meditation. I felt i should meditate at night under the start while being connected with earth.
A thought came .
What if this moment is still and frozen . And my last .
Death moment - can come any time and it can come even as i`m sitting still completely healthy and happy. The moment i choose i can just leave this body. be done and over with human experience.
I felt fear creeping in... My rational mind started to panic a little ,
"Am i dying ? Right now ? But what about... and .. Wait i still want to .. And my .. "
After freaking out for a little while a relief came over me
This was my answer to a long ago asked question what am i doing here, what is my purpose, Should i still be here. The fact so much came up as unfinished says it all.I got a lot of work to do.
Frozen moment feeling did no leave. I just kept wondering about this thought that all this can be over just like that . My soul could just step out and leave this body laying in the grass behind. How strange that felt i can not explain, but i did learn to love things way more in that frozen moment.
Because with realised option to leave i also realised how much we as human being can do that we can not as a soul. I had a sense of gratitude about all the wonders in the universe that are available to me to experience in this specific form.
Namaste
If you could leave your body right now this split second - Would you do it? Or do you still have unfinished business ?
Realisation 1 : Goddess or a beggar
I sat in my lotus posture still. I was breathing quietly. I started to feel as my face is changing and from my usually pale hair colour its changing for black, shiny hair starting from my forehead flowing right by my neck to towards my chest. I felt as if i`m seeing myself from outside as well as feeling inside. A red dot appeared on my forehead and dark sparkly eyes became familiar to me. I was looking at the world, but from within. I felt my head covered with some sort of cloth as a head scarf with intricate details. I felt i`m looking forward, although in this reality i have not moved a muscle including my eyes that were still shut and still.
I then realised . I am a goddess. Not a goddess in a way that i`m great and happy in this life , but in a way that i am divine in this cosmos.
After a little while of marvel in this new realisation i started to see my bare feet and i felt i`m not her , this Indian looking being . I have become a unknown gender monk with bare feet . I felt its joy. There was no shame, guilt, pain. Although i have come realise that i have nothing at that moment i also have everything.
After a while of observing i felt goddess and the beggar merge. I had goddess head, but my feet were those of the beggar.
Could i be both ? Are we all both. How could i be both ? Where is the balance point?
After a while i came out of meditation and sat still with my eyes open looking outside the window. I felt her eyes still in my minds eyes. I guess i still felt the divine with me. Or in me , or .. Its me.
Next time i will see a beggar on the street i will remember. There is divine in all of us, but sometimes we need to become a beggar to realise our true self. Or touch the divine .
Namaste
Don`t be afraid to touch the divine part of yourself.
If you are meant to find me - you will.
This might sound a little crazy, but today i felt that i need to start to share my meditations with the world. And i believe that those who are meant to receive this information - will find me and receive it.
Another meditation and another wild though had arrived. Constant realisation is upon me. Is this what it feels to grow to become enlightened? I wonder .. A lot.
And i want to share all these realisations with you. I have this urge to tell someone, but after recording yet another very long voice message to my friends i realise, that they are not ready to be with me in this. This part i must walk alone in body at least for a little while longer. But not in spirit.
I feel there are many like me out there who are realising themselves , but have no place to share and no one to share their experience with ...
Share it with me.
If you read all this until the end, maybe you were meant to start sharing your journey with me. Or maybe not.
Namaste
I bow to you with love
@namaste
